12/12 (a year of dates)

Well. An entire year of dates. We ended the year the same way we started with a movie (hunger games) (obvi) and dinner. We got some giftcards for Christmas because there is obviously no way I would ever spend $40 on a movie. Ever.

It's kind of a funny story because we started out the day getting Pho for lunch and then running errands and making returns and junk and I kept putting my soup on Evan's seat because I'm dumb I guess and I bet you can see where this story is going, can't you? Well, Evan sat on it. HE SAT ON MY SOUP. And broke the container and soup everywhere. And it was not a pretty picture for a few minutes while we argued about that and cleaned it up (with diapers because I'm handy).

But we trudged on and went on our date anyway and Evan made it up to me by taking me to Mexican for dinner and they graciously served 22 ounces of margarita for only $5 and so Evan and I were obviously feeling very HAPPY for the movie. But first we went to Target to find me some boots because a girl needs new boots like every other day (am i right?) and I ended up losing a shoe and rearranging the entire Target's men's section to my advantage. So, what I'm saying is that I'm a good time.

We made it to the movie and shared popcorn and snuck snacks in and blah blah but I think the highlight of the night was definitely the dinner part. Especially when I told Evan I would get up in the aisle and dance if he would buy me a new pair of boots. He wouldn't agree to it but you should all know that I would totally do it (he bought me new boots anyway).

I also failed to take any pictures of our date and so this one of the following day's coffee date. Weekends are for lovers. That's for sure.

12/12

Squeezing in one.more.picture for 2014 today. With our new headboard we made. With my two favorite people.

Happy New Year! So excited to continue this tradition into the new year and see just how much my sweet boy grows.

//November
//September
//August
//July
//June
//May
//April
//March
//February
//January

Merry Christmas

O, Christmas Tree

Every year (for the past three) we have made it a Christmas (or, Thanksgiving really) tradition to go buy our Christmas tree the day before Thanksgiving. I can hardly stand it as all the little tree stands start popping up in various parking lots and if I were able to maneuver a tree by myself with babe in tow, you better believe I'd have it home and ready for decorating by the time Evan was off work.

But it doesn't happen that way and instead we make it a little family tradition to go and to pick out thee perfect tree and it usually takes us forever because we're picky and I'm needy and why on earth are there so many trees with gaping holes instead of branches?

But we do find it, rather miraculously, and haul our beauty home and screw her into the red steel stand that we found in our basement and was probably the only thing of actual worth that the previous owner left behind. And it sits in our living room, this beautifully lit and decorated tree and every afternoon as it begins to grow dark outside, I turn on the lights and Maddox says, "Woah!" like it's the very first time he's seen me turn them on and then we sit and stare at it for a moment and then I ask him for the 100th time that day to please not pull the ornaments off of the tree.

So. Here it is. Our beautiful tree. It's a little bare this year because I hauled all of the Christmas decoration boxes upstairs and Maddox promptly opened them all and screamed at the top of his lungs, "BALL!" as if I had been hiding boxes of balls from him for his whole life. He grabbed the first one he could, the brightest red one caught his eye and he immediately smashed it on the ground. And so, our tree this year is full of shatterproof balls and lights and some plush ornaments that I'm currently trying to collect more of. There is not one breakable thing on this tree and my child has already lost most of the hooks to most of the ornaments and so he ever-so-graciously and gently sets the "balls" back onto the tree and so instead of hanging, most of our ornaments are sitting. It's fine, really. He makes things exciting and he's cute and so he could probably get away with anything.

I'm also working on adding more faux snow globes to my collection. Pinterest is full of the cutest ideas for them and I can't wait to make more. When I got all of my decorations out and in their little homes for the year, Evan said, "Is that it?" And so clearly we do not have enough Christmas decorations and I need to make more. On it, babe. I'm on it.

11/12 (a year of dates)

You guys, November was, like, the worst month in the history of sickness for the Cook family. There were at least two of us who felt like complete and total garbage at all times. Evan and Maddox definitely got the worst of it and were sick over Thanksgiving (so lame). I was sick at the beginning of the month with whatever stomach virus (not the flu. Educate yourselves.) was going around and then it stayed dormant in our house for a minute before I passed it onto my boys (so sorry, my loves). I totally got karma'd though because I woke up yesterday morning with a sinus infection that made even breathing difficult.

So. Basically, there wasn't a lot of dating to be had in the month of November. I sucked it up last night for a quick trip to a nice restaurant followed by a beer but it was pretty rough. Montana also decided to dump a foot of snow + have freezing temps so that's really not helping matters any.

We were sort of planning on a little sledding date because we know some secret sledding locations. But then thanks to the freezing cold + sinus issues + I don't even own any sort of winter gear really, we decided against it. We have a tiny little hill in the park across the street from our house and so we're planning on taking Maddox on his first little sledding adventure this week. We'll make it a little family date but hopefully there will be no sharing sicknesses involved.

In other news, that beer below is one of my top three beers, ever. It's a pomegranate wheat and it's so dang good. This little brewery makes different flavored wheats for every season (strawberry, you guys. YUM.) and I can't get enough. 

11/12

I know that you're thinking that this family picture looks similar to my picture I posted yesterday. I can assure you that we took 49 pictures so I had plenty to choose from. It's a gift and a curse (dependent on who you ask).

In the spirit of Thanksgiving (and finally fixing my chalkboard sign that has said "Maddox is ONE!" for the past nine-months [thanks, sign. we get it.]), we sat at our little table, under our little sign and laughed at this sweet boy who snuck bites of homemade cinnamon rolls (from scratch. hashtag high five.) in between pictures.

He's the best. They're both the best.

//October
//September
//August
//July
//June
//May
//April
//March
//February
//January

Give thanks

I'm doing a bible study right now called, "In Everything Give Thanks." It was designed for this season, this Thanksgiving season, but I feel like it was written specifically for me. I started it last week and over the course of one week I've gone through a roller coaster of emotions and circumstances and had all sorts of various things thrown my way and all the while this little voice in my heart whispering, "Give thanks. Give thanks. Give thanks." And so I have been.

I want to be more thankful. I want the greed and the worldly desires in my heart to be replaced with contentment and appreciation. I want to stop looking for more, more, more and start being grateful for what's in front of me and what I've been blessed with. Because it really truly is so much.

But beyond that, I want to stop looking at the things to feel thankful for. Because the things don't matter. I want to cultivate relationships and love and friendships and memories. I want to live a life rich in the intangible things. I can sure get into the neediness of this life. I live just a few blocks from Target and I can sure walk through that store and feel pretty bad about my life. I can whine that I can't afford a candle in every scent ever and the newest plates and dishes and the cutest little Christmas trinkets that I so obviously do not need and I can make a long list of everything I don't have. And that list is suddenly so overwhelmingly, glaringly obvious in the face of everything that I do have. And it overwhelms the goodness of this life, the goodness that I have right in front of me.

I want to be thankful in my greed.
Thankful in my suffering.
Thankful when I'm content.
Thankful when I'm hurting.
Thankful when I'm happy.
Thankful when there's enough.
Thankful when there's not.
Thankful in everything.

In everything give thanks; give thanks in everything.

Maddox Currently

Maddox is currently 20-months and he...

Has chores. He's been obsessed with feeding the dog for quite a while so we let him do it. He gets her bowl and fills it up with food and then follows her around the house and demands that she eat her food. We have to be extra careful and make sure we always lock the container where we keep her food because he sometimes likes to grab handfuls of food and throw them all over the floor and that's really fun for me. He also helps us unload the dishwasher. He pulls all the silverware out one-by-one and hands me a plate or bowl one-by-one and gets really angry when I won't let him empty the dishwasher when it's full of dirty dishes.

Loves puzzles and shape sorting. I've had wood puzzles and a little shape sorter toy for Maddox for an entire year. He showed no interest in them until one day when all of the sudden he just knew how to put the puzzle pieces back into the puzzle and knew that the circle went in the circle hole in the shape sorter. I kind of just watched in amazement for an entire day because I had no idea where he picked this up. But he does it and it makes me really proud.

Dances with me. We always have music on in this house and Maddox and I are usually dancing to it. I picked him up one day and put his arms on my neck and said, "Hold on to me!" And now whenever I pick him up and there's music playing, he grabs my neck and we dance. He also likes when I twirl him around and around and his newest dance move is spinning until he falls down.

Likes to pretend cook.  Maddox prefers to pull all of the pots and pans out of the cupboards and pull a handful of spice jars out and pretend to cook with me. I'm so, so excited for the day when he can really sit on the counter and help me. But for now, I'll take this little pretend chef.

Can get out of his crib. Aye yi yi. One morning a few months ago, Maddox fell out of his crib. We were sleeping and Evan heard the crash and rushed into his room. His crib has three settings for mattress height and his was on the middle setting but the lowest setting was only a few inches below the current position. Evan left for work and I couldn't adjust it on my own and Maddox refused, absolutely refused to take any sort of naps in his bed that day. Probably, he was scared out of his mind but I didn't mind a day of cuddles with my sweet boy. So, that night Evan and I removed all the pieces of the crib so that it's still a crib but the mattress just lays on the ground instead of on the thing that's attached to the crib (good description, L). So, the crib and mattress now move freely of each other and there's just the tiniest space between the crib and the floor but we didn't think that Maddox would try to climb under. No way. Well, turns out he does. He kicks the crib until it has moved and he slides under and can open his bedroom door and he's halfway downstairs before you realize what's happening.

New Words: Bah! (Buttons, as in, buttons on the microwave! Dishwasher! Washer! Dryer! Any. Kind. Of. Button. Bah! Bah! Bah!) Tea. (Tea. Mama's tea, which he is ridiculously obsessed with.) Cah! (Car.) Es. (Yes.) Nunch. (Lunch.)

Halloween 2014

This Halloween is brought to you by entirely too much candy. Without that candy I seriously think I would have straight up died dead in the middle of the day from being so exhausted and run down.

We did our church's Halloween thing (it's called "Candy Run") for the third time in a row (one and two) and it's so fun. It just gets better and better and it's such a cool way for us to do community outreach and just have a good time and eat a lot of candy.

Evan + the student ministries team did a TMNT-themed zone. We spent two full days setting up the zone (city scapes + the liar + a sewer, two rooms and a hallway total) and painting and cutting cardboard and cutting a giant chunk out of my finger almost immediately and eating way too much candy.

I ordered my costume super last minute from Amazon because I had been planning on just making my own. But then it was the week of and I hadn't even thought of anything so I took the easy way out and just ordered a TNMT t-shirt. My girlfriend Anna mentioned that she was wearing a tutu and so Friday morning I gathered up all my organza and quickly sewed up a tutu (took me ten minutes and no pattern and it was amazing) and that was the extent of my handmade DIY Halloween costume. hashtag thumbs up.

We were a little Raphael family this year and I was even referred to as "Raphael's lady." It was quite hilarious to see all the children come through and name off the turtles they saw and then if one was missing quite literally lose their everloving minds about it. "WHERE. IS. DONATELLO." We would be like, "Eating pizza in the lair!" And they'd be like, "Oh. Okay. Phew." But, my favorite interaction was this little girl, probably 10ish, who said, "My friend Dylan loves you guys! You should see how much of your stuff he has in his room." Chyeah. Because we are THE ninja turtles.

Maddox was also a big hit and everyone commented on the baby turtle and how cute he was. He even was willing to keep his hat and shell on for most of the night which was a big deal because he did not want anything to do with either in our costume run-throughs earlier in the week.

And Evan's costume. Oh my lanta. All four of the guys who wore that same costume (but different turtle, obviously) are Evan's height. So all of them had the problem with the short inseam. I had to make four skirts for the boys to keep everything G-rated because tall boys + short costumes equal not church approp. If you know what I mean.

But all in all, we had such a great Halloween. We're all dead tired and I could hardly stand on my feet the next day and Maddox is fairly certain that his diet should now consist of candy and only candy from here on out but I'd say it was a success. Holidays are just so much more fun when you have a little one to dress up and steal candy from.

Also, funny story: We kept all the candy in giant, giant tubs. At the end of the night only a few pieces were left in the bottom of the tub and Maddox quite literally leaned over and practically fell in just to get those last few pieces. He helped himself to several Dum-Dum suckers and charmed plenty of Evan's collage ministry girls into feeding him lots of candy. I mean, I can't even say no to that face, I don't know how anyone else possibly could!

10/12

Phew. We made it. Just in the nick of time before November kicks in.

We did a TMNT themed zone at church for our Halloween party and I thought it would be so much fun to really represent October well and go stand in public in the middle of the day in some silly costumes. I had wanted a very specific alley but there were people just standing in it and you have to draw the line somewhere. Obviously. It was a total wreck though, this picture. I'm not even going to sugarcoat it. Maddox was in a mood. Evan's stupid shell wouldn't stay attached. I somehow lost a piece to my tripod and so it wouldn't work properly and I was just ten sorts of flustered. I didn't even think we had a half-decent picture but then I found this one and it's pretty cute.

Happy Halloween and hello November!

//September
//August
//July
//June
//May
//April
//March
//February
//January

Fortunate

The first time I ever said your name outloud to anyone other than your dad, was to the anesthesiologist as he was spreading sticky iodine onto my spine in preparation for my epidural. I curled myself over you in my belly and he distracted me by telling me stories about his wife and her childbirth and I distracted myself with pressing the balls of my feet into your dad's feet as hard as I could. He asked me what you were and I told him you were still a surprise. He asked me your name and I said, "If we have a boy, his name will be Maddox Oliver."

I hesitated for a moment because there it was, out in the open. I didn't even tell my closest friends who had actually begged and pleaded with me over their drinks and my iced tea and our appetizers at our favorite restaurant. We didn't tell our parents or our brothers. We didn't tell a single person what your name would be.

You were mine first, this tiny little soul that inhabited the spot just below my heart. I wanted to keep you there forever where I could keep you safe and protect you from everything that life would throw your way. Instead you were born, a perfect seven pounds, three ounces and I held your tightly bundled body against mine and forgot the rest of the world for a few perfect moments.

That seems like a lifetime ago. It seems like a dream that those soft newborn onesies were once too big for you. I remember the first day that your dad went back to work and I spent the day sending him pictures of you, of your feet, of your sleeping smiles. Now I send him texts about how you're suddenly walking down the stairs by yourself and running into things and when you've fallen asleep on me. We reminisce on your newborn days and wonder where all of that time went and whisper prayers of thanksgiving for all of it.

Your name means "fortunate," but I think we're the fortunate ones. We're so blessed by you. By your laugh and smile and mischievous grins. We've never heard so many compliments given as are given to you. You deserve every single one of them because you are sweet and kind and friendly and you really do have the purest and kindest and prettiest eyes. You've changed our lives in a million ways and every single day we discover something new about you and we look at each other and know that our life is perfect. Your toys may cover the floor and you may empty all kitchen cabinets and drawers of their contents five times daily and you might pee on the bath mat every night before your bath and you might go through an absurd amount of diapers some days but we love every single thing about you. We are richly blessed and we are fortunate.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

10/12 (a year of dates)

I don't know where these months go. I really don't. All I know is that suddenly I'm staring straight on into the last week of the month and Evan and I have absolutely no time to go on a date. This last week of October is going to be pure craziness as we get ready for Halloween at our church but the good news is that we get to spend like 99-percent of that craziness together. It'll be like date 2.0 but with a lot of other people and also our child.

We decided to have breakfast this week (since mornings are the only free time we have) and because we hadn't done a breakfast date yet. We had planned on going to this delicious little diner and then found out that it was closing. And not just closing but closing the day before our date. Just please, life. I was pretty brokenhearted because it not only sounded delicious to me but I wanted to go somewhere we didn't frequent all the time and when we do go to breakfast, we go to one of two places.

We still hadn't decided as we were walking out the door this morning but I remembered our favorite quaint cafe downtown (where we had our June date) not only serves the best lunch but also has amazing breakfast. We've never been for breakfast before but we even had a coupon (destiny!) and so it was decided.

Every single thing on their menu looked fantastic. And that means that it probably is because I'm the pickiest breakfast person on the face of the planet and I never try anything new. Evan ordered a loaded breakfast burrito with everything you can imagine stuffed into that thing and I ordered banana and walnut pancakes. I don't even really like pancakes. I prefer waffles over pancakes but banana pancakes are so cute so I had to order them.

And it was amazing. Not only because the food was the best breakfast I've maybe ever had but also because it was just he and I and we weren't making up from a fight or coming down off a bad weekend. We had a great weekend and we spent a ton of time together and this has been a pretty great month and it just felt good to start my day and my week with a little quality time with my favorite person.  I'm not one for waking up early and sitting down to an actual meal in the morning. I'm usually rolling out of bed as Evan is heading off to work and Maddox and I find a nice warm spot to share some fruit and yogurt or a bowl of Lucky Charms or some leftovers. But there's just something about the intimacy of intentionally waking up early to eat with someone and to prepare food instead of raiding whatever's in the fridge. I'm going to have to make real breakfast an actual habit and I'm going to have to treat both of my boys to some banana pancakes.

the goodness (2)

I bribed him with a cookie. But I had to document his cuteness today. I had to.

Maddox Currently

Currently, Maddox is 19-months and he...

Tells me when he has a wet/messy diaper. I am so nervous about potty training, you guys! I don't know the first steps about getting this kid out of diapers and I'm putting it off because it just sounds so hard and he's so strong willed that I feel like it's not going to work and we're going to get discouraged. (And all moms are like, "Yeah, obviously. Have you learned nothing?") Anyway, this month Maddox really started to realize when he has a wet or messy diaper and tells me! (I'm so sick of smelling his behind to see if he's stinky or not! < you would think that would be motivation enough.) He puts his hand on his butt and says, "Soos," which must be "poop" in Maddox-talk and then, sure enough! he's messy and we change him.

Is obsessed with throwing things away. Maddox is very helpful and likes to clean up all the time. He currently really likes to throw things away and so after every diaper change he takes his diaper to the trash and throws it away. Sometimes if it's super messy or really full I will do it and he basically loses his mind like I refused his nap or something. I'm also missing the lid to my ceramic mug (the only mug that I have that goes everywhere with me) and I will either find it when we move out (along with a whole trove of other things I didn't know I was missing) or it's long gone and buried deep in the landfill by now.

Says "bye" and leaves. Sometimes when we're playing, Maddox will just stand up, say "bah" (basically every word he says is some form of "bah" and you have to be fluent in Maddox-lingo to know which "bah" is which) and run away and go somewhere else to play. Usually, usually, this means he wants to be chased or play hide and seek and those are currently his favorite games to play with Evan.

Knows his body parts:  Sometimes I realize Maddox knows what I'm saying and I'm blown away by how quickly his mind picks up on things! It's so cool to watch him grow and develop and see how far he has come in just a year-and-a-half. Crazy. This is one of those things. For a while, Maddox thought it was funny to pretend pick his nose and so I asked him one day where his nose was. He pointed to it. So I gave him the run down of your basic body parts and when he knew every.single.one I moved on to things like elbows and legs and eyebrow. We're still working on those but we sing, "Head and shoulders, knees and toes," like 500-times a day and he's really into pointing out his belly/bellybutton to anyone and everyone.

Asks "where" with his hands. You know the universal upturned hands sign for "I don't know" or "where?" Well, this cutie has it down. And it's the cutest. I ask him where things are all day long because I love when he walks around with his hands in the air looking for something.

Stands still for pictures. I mean, I take a lot of pictures of this kid. A lot. I will say, "Stand over there, I want to take your picture!" And then he does. He'll stand still for about ten seconds and then he runs to me to see it. He'll oblige for about 2 seconds of this nonsense and then he's back to running around and generally not standing very still at all.

New words: Boo.  (Literally, boo. He hides behind things and peeks his head out and says, "Boo!") "Ha!" (Hi.) Beh beh. (Baby. Specifically when he's pointing to the pictures of himself on the fridge.) Bah! (Ball. Arms in the air in the "touch down" motion is football. When we say "football" he throws his arms up and Evan couldn't be more proud if he tried.) Bah! (Belly. To which he is constantly showing strangers or trying to show them mine while we're in public. Thumbs up to that, guys.) Joos. (Shoes.)

A hilarious story about my dad

This is a hilarious story about my dad that I need to put here for safe keeping.

Like a week ago, my mom came home from Africa (still jealous over here) and so my dad and I planned to go pick her up from the airport. Actually I wanted to make her walk home in case of Ebola but then my dad said that was mean and made me in fact pick her up. And so I did. But before I picked her up, my dad needed to stop at his office.

I need to take a pause here and briefly mention that I've lived here my whole life. I've been driving for ten-years and I manage to get around this place without a GPS like 99.9 percent of the time. I have been to the airport a million times. Which is where we were headed. I've been to my dad's office a million times. Like, this isn't LA, ya'll.

So. We got in the car and my dad immediately says to me, "Go to 13th and take a right and then go all the way to Lewis." YA'LL MY DAD STARTED GIVING ME DIRECTIONS RIGHT OFF THE BAT. I should have just said, "Thanks, guy. This isn't my first rodeo." But I didn't because I was trying to be a less-sassy daughter that day and I figured when I made it safely to Lewis he would just be like, "She got this." But no. That is actually not what happened.

What happened is, I did make it to Lewis. And then he said, "Take a right on 12th. It's the one right after that streetlight." And on and on and on until we were like in the middle of residential hell and every other street was a dead end and I basically had traced a stair pattern with my car and a trip that should have taken like 10-minutes was turning into a Sunday drive.

This is the best part of the story so pay attention: My dad's office is on the outskirts of town, past the interstate. So to get to his office using my dad's backwards route you have to go over the overpass and through several lights. I was stopping at a red light and this was our exchange:

Dad: "You're going to stop at this red light and there are four lights to go through. One, two, three, four. So this one, one after that, another one and then take a right at the last one."
Me, the whole time he's saying this but especially AS HE STARTS COUNTING TO FOUR AT ME: *looking out the window, trying not to die of holding in my laughter.


I'm happy to report that we not only made it to his office (where he actually told me which spot to park in. At eight o'clock at night. You know, a parking lot with like two cars in it and he feels like I need guidance as to which empty spot to park in.) but we also made it safely to the airport. He also said, "Does this car have AM/FM radio?" (We listen to our free Sirius usually.) "Yep, sure does." "Let's find the high school football game cast." My dad is still greatly obsessed with my alma mater. Like, you would probably think he still had a child on the team. He does not. My brother is now in college and has nothing to do with his high school football team. But he made me find the game cast and we listened to it for a good five minutes--five minutes of which I wanted to pull all of my hair out one-by-one because I just cannot with radio sports. My own personal version of hell would be sports on the radio because it is the most annoying. So you can tell that I really appreciated his insistence on listening to the game as he was giving me further directions to the airport and most especially how to use roundabouts. He also got really annoyed when he found out that they were losing and I quote, "Turn this BLEEP off." Except he didn't say "bleep."

That's my dad!