Monday, August 27, 2012

[untitled] [random]

/there are two types of people in this world: the type of people who put their grocery carts away; and the type of people who leave them in empty parking spaces and all over the parking lot to be in everyone's way. i hate those types of people. listen to me: grocery carts ARE NOT cars. i don't do confrontation (well, i didn't. it's sort of becoming my thing these days) and i NEVER see these type 2 losers. probably lucky for them.

/a story about how i now apparently love confrontation now: evan and i were on a mission at target. on a saturday. sorry for us. as we were pulling into a spot the person in the spot to the right started backing up all crazy and almost ran right into the front of my precious simon (that's my car). evan saw that look in my eye and quickly backed up and found us a new spot but not before i got a good look at that girl. i hunted her down in target and said, "excuse me, you need to learn how to drive." and she responded, "actually i know how to drive." "um, actually you don't. but thanks." and walked off. she was 1. on her phone and 2. like 2 feet taller than me. but go me. bring it on, everyone who needs to be confronted in my life. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. hah.

/my sister-in-law is pregnant! we are having a gender revealing party tomorrow night but more importantly I'M GONNA BE AN AUNTTTTT!

/can i jump on the peace out summer train? because i am. i've worn boots and tights and scarves and eaten soup and chili and i'm currently making stew because I. AM. JUST. THROUGH. with these 90+ degree days. if i dress for cooler weather i believe mother nature will hear me. can i also have fall but still keep all my maxi dresses and skirts? because i'm not ready to give those up yet. those are like jammies and pretty much the only thing getting me through my work week. and i've had mumford & sons on repeat for weeks now. and that is fall music, so....this girl is READY.

/i'm not in the mood to do an entire post dedicated to all the books i've recently read so here you go:  37. the road by cormac mccarthy (LOVED it.); 38. the fault in our stars by john green (before it was this summer's hottest book and let me tell you: it DESERVES that award.); 39. the contortionists handbook by craig clevenger (LOVED it. not what i was expecting OR my usual type of book. SO good.) 40. the marriage plot (liked it.) still reading about 500 other books and starting a new one tonight probs.

/from may 17 to october 1 of this year evan and i will have gone to 10+ weddings. we have gotten one thank you note. ONE! i'm not buying anyone else any wedding gifts. do people know that that is what you're supposed to do? if you're too cheap or too stupid to know this, then you're too young to be getting married.

/do you want to know the cutest wedding favors ever? WILD FLOWERS. but then somehow ours got lost/thrown away/misplaced. also, how cute is this packaging?! this wedding with the cute favors was my favorite. good friends, lots of laughs, favorite town, TONS of free things to take home. the bride totally fueled my wedding klepto by giving us 10 mason jars, a bird house and some little lanterns. i kind of love her.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

self diagnosing

the thing is, doctors don't like when you're smarter than them and can diagnose yourself (thanks to webmd, i skipped the 804 years of med school). but i do a lot of self diagnosing. again, thanks to webmd. hah.

okaybut. then i saw this and then i went ahead and diagnosed myself with misophonia. just let me quote from this wikipedia article (another one of my doctor's favorites) and then you go ask my husband how this is basically written about me.

"misophonia, literally, 'hatred of sound,' is a form of decreased sound tolernce." "misophonia is specific for certain sounds." "people who have misophonia are most commonly [specifically, DO NOT MISS THIS PART] annoyed, OR EVEN ENRAGED, by such ordinary sounds as other people [don't miss this either] eating, breathing, sniffing, or coughing; certain consonants; or repeative sounds.  People with misophonia may be diagnosed with mood or anxiety disorders as well as OCD."

mood, anxiety OCD disorders. the check list keeps on growing.

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhso, i have this. i always thought i was just a crabby person with extremely low tolerance of other people and their noise. i am not even kidding, i can even prove how low my tolerance is. 1) i used to sit near a lawyer who would clip his finger nails every day and i would lose my mind. 2) remember when i wrote this post about how everyone at work was coughing? 3) one time i honest-to-God timed a lawyer who cleared his throat every 15 seconds.

also, it's other people's noise, not my own. good news that i don't annoy myself. but this has made me be so extra ultra quiet because i don't want to disrupt other people. let me probably state that most other people don't have this misophonia crap. but then i wish they did because THAT WOULD MAKE THE WORLD A QUIETER PLACE (as i shout that at you).

here's a list of things i hate:
/car doors slamming;
/cars honking, specifically CAR ALARMS;
/dogs barking;
/toe nail clippers;
/anything repetitive like coughing, throat clearing, sniffing;
/teeth brushing;
/voices through walls;
/when people suck their snot into their brains and then swallow;
/telephones that ring more than once;
/music that is not my own;
/music (especially when it's extra on the bass) from other people's cars...

i desire complete silence. if there's going to be any noise it will be mine. that "decreased tolerance of noise" is not a real thing. i don't just have "decreased" tolerance. i have no tolerance. i have been known to hear multiple car doors shut and then i will go outside to see who the perpetrator is and shoot a glare or two their way. hah. i used to sit on the other side of a copy room so that the cabinets and drawers were against my office wall. people would slam doors and drawers all the day long and i'd get so mad i would slam things back at them. if you can't tell, i'm really, really good at teaching people to be quiet.

also there is no cure for this, obviously, it's a psychological problem [and i just don't believe in psychological drugs] but wiki says that people just tend to avoid areas where the specific hated noise is prevalent. uhhhhhhh, that's life? "i can no longer do life because i have misophonia, sorry." "i can't be around you because i have misophonia and you really enrage me with all your noise, sorry." "you're making my misophonia act up so i have to punch you in the face, sorry."

Wednesday, August 8, 2012


it's something to be married to your best friend. to wake up to that face every morning and fall asleep next to it every night. that face that knows you inside and out, knows your mistakes and embarrassments and failures and loves you even more. that face loves the person i was at 18, brave and stupid. when i was going to tattoo shops alone and had my very own rock i would climb when i needed to be alone. when i was smoking cigars because i could and sneaking around those pesky "no trespassing" signs. who loves the person who left to "find herself" about 80 times. even though that meant being okay with me hanging out with guys who were no good for me and drinking too much jager and wine, but not together. who gave me his lap to curl up on after a thee worst dinner i've ever made and thee most pitiful attempt of me trying to be worth it while the spill canvas serenaded us and i played "self conclusion" for hours and hours. who loves the girl who has mostly only jealous bones in her body and that translates to a lot of time spent just the two of us because sometimes those jealous bones just don't like people. it's something to be loved by a person who had the choice to love anyone in the world. who had the choice to take you or leave you. who had the choice to go and not look back. it's something to be loved by the person who chose you, who took you, who left but looked back. it's something to know each other for seven years. to be best friends first and build a relationship off that and to know how fiercely i could love and how angry i could become before any of that love or anger were his to claim. it's something to have this semi-brand new relationship that feels old and new without being stuffy or awkward. it's familiar and exciting. it's trust and adventure. it's safe and risk. it's something to be with someone and watch them grow and evolve and adapt and change and be able to grow and evolve and adapt and change with them so that you move forward, inward, into. one, not two. it's something to feel complete with the person your heart has chosen to love. to be satisfied and whole and undivided. it's something, that out of these 6 point something billion people in this world, i've found my person.