self diagnosing

the thing is, doctors don't like when you're smarter than them and can diagnose yourself (thanks to webmd, i skipped the 804 years of med school). but i do a lot of self diagnosing. again, thanks to webmd. hah.

okaybut. then i saw this and then i went ahead and diagnosed myself with misophonia. just let me quote from this wikipedia article (another one of my doctor's favorites) and then you go ask my husband how this is basically written about me.

"misophonia, literally, 'hatred of sound,' is a form of decreased sound tolernce." "misophonia is specific for certain sounds." "people who have misophonia are most commonly [specifically, DO NOT MISS THIS PART] annoyed, OR EVEN ENRAGED, by such ordinary sounds as other people [don't miss this either] eating, breathing, sniffing, or coughing; certain consonants; or repeative sounds.  People with misophonia may be diagnosed with mood or anxiety disorders as well as OCD."

mood, anxiety OCD disorders. the check list keeps on growing.

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhso, i have this. i always thought i was just a crabby person with extremely low tolerance of other people and their noise. i am not even kidding, i can even prove how low my tolerance is. 1) i used to sit near a lawyer who would clip his finger nails every day and i would lose my mind. 2) remember when i wrote this post about how everyone at work was coughing? 3) one time i honest-to-God timed a lawyer who cleared his throat every 15 seconds.

also, it's other people's noise, not my own. good news that i don't annoy myself. but this has made me be so extra ultra quiet because i don't want to disrupt other people. let me probably state that most other people don't have this misophonia crap. but then i wish they did because THAT WOULD MAKE THE WORLD A QUIETER PLACE (as i shout that at you).

here's a list of things i hate:
/car doors slamming;
/cars honking, specifically CAR ALARMS;
/dogs barking;
/toe nail clippers;
/anything repetitive like coughing, throat clearing, sniffing;
/chewing;
/teeth brushing;
/voices through walls;
/when people suck their snot into their brains and then swallow;
/whispering;
/telephones that ring more than once;
/music that is not my own;
/music (especially when it's extra on the bass) from other people's cars...

i desire complete silence. if there's going to be any noise it will be mine. that "decreased tolerance of noise" is not a real thing. i don't just have "decreased" tolerance. i have no tolerance. i have been known to hear multiple car doors shut and then i will go outside to see who the perpetrator is and shoot a glare or two their way. hah. i used to sit on the other side of a copy room so that the cabinets and drawers were against my office wall. people would slam doors and drawers all the day long and i'd get so mad i would slam things back at them. if you can't tell, i'm really, really good at teaching people to be quiet.

also there is no cure for this, obviously, it's a psychological problem [and i just don't believe in psychological drugs] but wiki says that people just tend to avoid areas where the specific hated noise is prevalent. uhhhhhhh, that's life? "i can no longer do life because i have misophonia, sorry." "i can't be around you because i have misophonia and you really enrage me with all your noise, sorry." "you're making my misophonia act up so i have to punch you in the face, sorry."