Week of Thanks, Week Twenty Nine

268. Violet, and sharing the things I'm thankful for, here.

269. A job that lets you text. (Aunt Dolly, I found one!!!)

270. Remembering how cute little baby Snap was.

271. When my boss sends me encouraging e-mails about how great I'm doing. I love this job.

272. Weddings.

273. Free photobooths at weddings.

Yes we got in line 3 times. Oh, that picture of Evan's butt? That's because that's what the kid in front of us did. Hilarious. So we copied him. That picture of me by myself? That's me trying to whip my hair. I wasn't on time. In any of those 3 pictures.

274. Project Runway Season 9!!! AH! "Make it work!"

275. Finding a new favorite author, but forcing self control upon myself to not purchase any more of her books until I finish my already started book.

276. That time I complained to Amazon about my book not working, and then they gave me a free credit. I thought it would be $8 since that's how much the book cost. I complained again (1. because I'm good at complaining, 2.) because I didn't see the credit on my account and thought they were ripping me off. So I bought a $9 book. It was free. I bought another book, $5, and it was still free. How much money did Amazon give me? I hope this free book thing never ends!

277. Kitty snuggles. This is how Bob sleeps. I love it.

278. Finishing week one of my new job, and being happy at it. Being happy at a job is really nice. Everyone should try it.

Same place, different day

Number 17 part one.

"Take a picture of the same place for 12 months."

Evan and I took our puppies on a walk to my new spot so I could squeeze in my photos (part 2/12) on the very last day of July. I procrastinate. I know. 

"Keep not standing fixed and rooted, briskly venture, briskly roam." Best quote.

We have had no rain since I June. All of MT's snow is melting so we're still flooding, but we're not getting any rain. I would like some rain to cool this place off. Holy hell it was like 105 degrees today. I'm probably exaggerating, but I was walking uphill. Ask poor baby Snap. She laid down in the shade every chance she got. I would also like some rain because MT is turning yellowy brown, not so much green. It's way prettier when it's green, so it should fix itself for August. (Which, btw, is tomorrow!? What? Shut up in here.)

I'm sort of cheating because Evan and I walked this time, around one tiny spot, so I wasn't near any of the places I was last time. Except those telephone/electric poles. It's okay though, it's my project, I'll do what I waaaaant. 

Also, I have no idea who Yellowstone Kelly is, I'm sure I did at one point, when I was in school and smart and junk. I'm sure he did something significant here since I live in YELLOWSTONE County and 2.2 feet from the YELLOWSTONE River. But who knows.

Also, I didn't see any pretty flowers to steal and I have not stolen any flowers in weeks. WEEKS. Not okay. I'm on a mission this week.

some things

I remember in 6th grade, band class. I played the clarinet which meant I sat in the second row in front of all the trumpet players. Two boys pulled my chair out from under me as I was sitting down and I fell on the ground. Loudly. Obviously it was loud, I wasn't expecting to fall, I couldn't gracefully land. Then the boys proceeded to call me fat because I fell loudly. I wasn't fat. I sat in class, biting my clarinet so I wouldn't cry, telling myself over and over and over that I wasn't fat.

Today, I honestly don't remember who pulled my chair out. But it still makes me sick to my stomach.

I remember entering high school without a single friend. I remember floating from group to group because my high school was cliquey. I remember making my first friend after my Grandma passed away. In April. I went almost an entire year without having friends to hang out with. Without having people to talk to between class, during class, after class, and before. You know what the sad thing is? It was a private school. I had gone to school with those kids, probably close to 90% of them, since before middle school. Probably 40-60% of them since kindergarden.

I remember my first boyfriend ever. It was 6th grade, so it doesn't really count. But we "went out." We were "going out." I broke up with him, and I guess that broke his heart? Hurt his pride? To this day he is still my greatest bully. I was a junior in high school, taking Algebra II/trig and hating my life. I hate math almost as much as I hate waking up early and peanut butter and jelly. And I hate those things a lot. There were three juniors in the class and the rest were sophomores (overachievers, and I hate math). The three of us sat together and my first boyfriend would simply make fun of me the entire class. He'd look at my test, essentially cheating, but he wasn't cheating. He was looking to compare answers because he knew mine would be wrong. I'm not dumb. I just don't take tests well. I stress out, I second guess, I just can't do it. He'd say, "How did you get 25? You are so dumb. It's 35." I never, ever took his answer, even though I knew it was right. He took that as meaning I thought I was right (I didn't) and made fun of me even more when my tests came back. I passed the class thanks to extra credit and being the favorite student (that's something I was good at). But that wasn't good enough for him. It was constant bullying. I can't remember it all now, but sometimes, someone will say something that triggers a flashback to him. And it hurts. Still.

On my 23rd birthday, in front of my entire facebook audience (it's huge, you know), he wrote the meanest comment about my Spanish accent and how bad it was. Because I'm Spanish. No. I'm white. From Montana. You can't get any worse than that. I know I'll never sound like I'm native. But. On my birthday? Five years out of high school? I can't remember the last time I saw him. I can't remember the last time I thought of him and wondered where he was. Some people just need to get over themselves.

Suzy and Jamie brought this up. This idea that you should love your self for who you are. For what you see. And not what others tell you they see.

I think it's such a beautiful idea.

One night, I was praying and I said something dumb. I can't even remember now. I said, "oh my gosh. sometimes I'm so dumb." In my prayer. Instantly, I felt so ashamed that as I was talking to the one who created me, who calls me lovely and beautiful and who clothes me and takes care of me.....that I would doubt his creation. That I would make less of myself. And that I would not be content and pleased with what I have been given.

That stems from needing to be something I'm not to please others. From constantly wanting approval. From wanting to be liked. From wanting friends. From wanting people to want to get to know me. Needing to be liked, wanted, needed.

Which stems from things in my past that show me that I wasn't good enough. Because I couldn't fall gracefully. Or get 100% on a math test. Or date my 6th grade boyfriend for the rest of my life. Or make new friends.

And I have a bad habit of letting these things, these things that are 9, 6, 10-years-old get to me. Still break my heart. Still affect the person I am today. Ten years later.


And this is what Suzy says that screamed out loud at me:


"look in the mirror and see what's actually there--not what you've been told is there for years and years. and realize that no matter what's there, it's ok because that's not the most important thing anyway. ......

i kind of think we're a society that loves pity parties. we love wallowing. we focus on how we've been wronged and we let past hurts of all sizes and strengths grow like weeds in our brains. how useless and ugly.

fact is: you're fine. you'll be ok. i don't mean it didn't hurt, i don't mean it, whatever "it" was, didn't suck. but it's over now and you have two options: stay here, or move on.

let it drown you or get out of the water."

I'm not pity partying. I'm making myself get over it. Be the bigger person. And love myself for me, no matter how bad past me was hurt.

Lately.

Oh, hi. I kinda went away for like 3 years for a sec. My b.

Apparently, having a real job is not only time consuming but tiring as well. I am so exhausted. In every way imaginable. Oh, also who knew that a torn shoulder would hurt sitting at a desk? Yeah, hi Dr. You'll-never-use-that-shoulder-again-surgery-isn't-worth-it. Ask Evan, who rubs my shoulder every night so I can move it again, how he feels about that.

Eight to five really is killer.

Except I do really like my job. I'm entertained there by just the ridiculousness of people. Like, really? Your suing for that? And that much? And you are an idiot? K. Good luck with life.

But my job really is good. They had a social for me on the first day where I got to meet everyone (well not everyone because that would be 200+ people and...yeah. I don't like to be the center of attention.) and they fed me fresh fruit and donuts and muffins. Seriously, though? Awesome. They're awesome.

And they have mini fridges in all the copy rooms stocked with soda and snapple and juice and water and there is fresh coffee and tea and coco and apple cider. ALL free. I mean seriously. I spend half my day debating on what I want to drink next.



What else.

I finally finished my very first sewing project ever!!! EVEREVEREVER! On the sewing machine Evan got me for Christmas. I made pillow covers for my living room couches. First, do you not agree that throw pillows are insanely over priced? They are, if you were wondering. I got throw pillows with my couch but they were ugly. So I made covers. They're removable which means they're washable which is a must in this house because Evan eats like a 2-year-old (loveyouevan) and we have shedding animals. Mustmustmust be washable.

Anyway. I started these pillows months ago. Probably in like April. I had this idea in my head. Yellow, gray, chevron. I looked up a pattern that made it look easy peasy. I'm a first time sewer. I can do that, I said. Until I realized she was using striped fabric to make her pattern and I was using two colors. Which meant I was going to end up with stripes anyway. So I just gave up on the Chevron because it was too frustrating and I hate math and measuring and my self healing mat is the size of a fingernail.

But I got it figured out, made the front of a single pillow and finally finally finally, three months later, knocked these babies out on Monday with my mom. She was proud. For having no direction or skill (Basically. You should have seen me try to sew a straight line for a minute there...) I did a good job. And I love them.

They brighten up my livingroom, they're girly and cute, and they are gross leather that is hot and sweaty on your face during naptime.

Yup. They actually all face the same way in real life on the couch, but for the sake of the picture I flipped them. Now I have a million more ideas for pillows and sewing projects and blahblahblah. I love sewing.

Week of Thanks, Week Twenty Eight

260. Not being one bit scared for an interview. (A teacher once told me nerves mean you're passionate about something. That you care. But I don't believe that right now. I care, and I wasn't nervous. Which is huge for me.)

261. A job.

262. When Design Star comes back on TV. I'm all sorts of inspired by those people. (PS! That annoying British guy isn't hosting it this year. THANK. GOD.)

263. Reading 15 books in 7 months. Which is approx 2 books a month, which is 10 books away from being halfway to my goal of 50 books for the year. I need to get my rear in gear. But 15 books?! That's impressive.

264. An organized unmentionables drawer. Actually, and organized dresser. A dresser in which the drawers actually close because all of the clothes are folded neatly and perfectly and random sleeves and cuffs and hems and other clothing parts aren't haphazardly sticking out preventing closure and promising to jump out at you at 5:00 am when you blindly crawl to the bathroom and run knee first into the sharpest corner of the stupid dresser.

265. Perfect run on sentences.

266. Sewing date with my mother. AND finishing my first everrr project with my first everrr sewing machine! Photos, soon, promise!

267. New purse! Bought with love by Evan. In real life, it's not that yellow. It's more mustardy.

50 books for 2011 part sost

Do you like how I can count to 3 in more than 1 language? Sost, that's Amharic, which is Ethiopian, which is 3, which is as high as I can count even though the kids rattle off 1 through 10 nine hundred forty two times a day.

Parts 1 and 2 here and here.

Finished:

14. The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards. 

Verdict: You are reading correctly. I did finally finish this book after the 7 longest months of my life. Such a good book. Such. But it so reminded me of those books you read in high school which were probably really good but they were just so dry and so vivid by the time the author was finished describing the most mundane thing you already forgot what the point was. I really like books that are impossible to put down. Books that have cliff hangers at the end of every chapter. Books that have the essential elements to making a good story. Not just the fact that the author is eloquent. Which was pretty much what this book was. It's different from my usual reads, so that's nice, but it was just...dry. Pretty, but dry. Let's just say there was some champagne being popped when I read that last word. 

15. Year of Fog by Michelle Richmond.

Verdict: I read this entire book in less than 10 hours over the span of two days. I could not put this book down. The chapters are super short and they're filled with the most interesting facts and the best story line. My mom gave me this book (and The Memory Keeper's Daughter) eons and eons ago. Good choice, mom! 

Currently Reading:

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Random Riggs.

Verdict: Different. I have no solid opinions yet.

   

PS. Getting over my tonsil removal severely took precious time away from reading. Lately I've only been able to read on my lunch breaks. When I'm not at the park being accosted by homeless people. Oh yeah, that happened.

the scoop

Remember a few weeks ago when I sort of kind of not really shared a secret?

Well.


Here's the scoop. Currently, I'm working as a temp. Let me tell you how amazing this is. All I did was scoot into a temp agency and she found me a job. All I had to do was fill out paperwork with her, take a typing test, and BAM. Instant job. So I did that Mackenzie Disposal job for three weeks. Data entry, scheduling, phone calls. On Wednesday two weeks ago I had an interview with a lawyer to be a paralegal.

OHMYGOSH.

My heart was beating so fast, I was all over the place with emotions. This is a real job. A big girl job.

I went to the interview having zero expectations. I had no idea what the heck a paralegal does. My law experience? Once I was sued (someone rear ended me then someone else rear ended him. Yeah. That's a story for another day) and once my mom was the victim and so the state sued this guy (and that's another story for another day). So I know what discovery is. The end.

But the more he told me about the job the more excited I was. To have a real job, to have real money, to be making an enormous amount each year (I will not say. That's rude). I can't even.

So I went back to work after my lunch break interview and my boss at Mackenzie offered me a job.

(Technically, lawyer didn't offer me a job but his words were, "I'd like to try this out. I'm willing to give this a shot and see how you do." <- job. offered.)

What the what what?! Two jobs in one day.

I'm not trying to brag and be boastful here, but hihello. I know I'm a good employee. I know I work hard. I work well. I felt wanted (which, by the way, that's a nice feeling). And finally someone else, two someones else, noticed.

But. Lawyer had some problems with the person he's replacing and now she might not leave. Evan and I debated over the should I's and could we's for the past few days. Should I wait for this potential job and pass anything else up that comes along? Should I interview for other jobs but keep them waiting? Can we survive on just one paycheck for another two weeks? Yuck. I am the worst decision maker.

I turned down the Mackenzie job, just for the simple fact that it wasn't challenging enough, nor was there room to expand. Which meant that Friday was my last day of work if lawyer didn't want me to start on Monday. Which meant I wouldn't be working for an entire week. Which meant I needed to make a decision and someone needed to offer me a job stat.

Then another job came along. This little medical research paralegal job. The ladies who interviewed me sold me. They were so nice. They kept saying how the company treats everyone like equals and I felt that. I didn't feel like I was talking to some big, bad lawyer and I had to avert my eyes because his excellence is just so profound. I felt like I was talking to my peers.

So I took it. I took the job.

JobjobjobjobjobjobjobjobjobjobjobJOB. AH!

Monday. Insane.

And this is the adorable little outfit that got me the job! (Because, let's be honest. That's really all that matters.)

23 before 24 update

Number twenty: Make a list of the top 5 inspirational people in my life and write them letters.

ONE. Evan. (Because obviously.)

A little love letter for our first year of marriage.

a little spontaneous

Once upon a time, Evan asked me to go to Harry Potter with him. So we did. At 11:00 am. Have you ever left a movie theater in the daylight? Holy cow. I was blinded by the light. Also, omg, could they have done a worse job make HP look 40?

ANYWAY. Then we took a mini road trip. I was all, "let's go to my land!" And Evan was all, "how far away is it?" Me: "I dunno...an hour maybe?" BAAAAAHA. I kid, Evan, I kid. Appaaarently, it's like 2 hours away to the town, and then another 30-45 minutes to our land. Whoops.

But we made it. We took 6 pictures and turned around and came home. Eventful day.

But I got to spend a day with my love, a random unplanned day, jamming loudly in the car, talking about my unpredictable future, talking about the imaginary cabin we are going to build with our imaginary bank accounts, and just hanging out together. Couldn't have been a more perfect day.

I like you a lot, EPC.

Week of Thanks, Week Twenty Seven

252. (from evan) Having a spouse that you love so incredibly much. A person that would do anything for you. A person who is going to be right by your side for the rest of forever. (I die when he reads my blog =] )

253. Spending my days quoting: The Office, Family Guy, Neature Walk Episode 1, 2, 3. I pretty much don't even use my own words anymore.

254. Evan's text: "Hey lady! Here we go...bup bup bup...." (please tell me you watched that video from my anniversary post about nature. watch it.)

255. Shopping spreeeee. Five items for under $50. I win.

256. Kicking Evan's butt in Words with Friends. Like hardcore kicking butt. Probs the first time ever. I'm horrid at that game.

257. Saying to my aunt who stepped on a pine cone: "Betty!!! You got tree poop on your tootsies!" Evan and I were the only ones who laughed. Oh yeah, that's because my family hates us.

258. Driving home and seeing my city for the first time through the hills. Such a pretty city and such a good sight to see.

259. Filling my closet with adorable clothes. Hey family, no these jeans don't make me look fat and yes I am a city who wears nice clothes. I'm over your rude comments!!!

Current issuse vol. 3

Read past issues here and here.

1. Neighbors: fireworks are for New Years and Fourth of July. And today? Today is not either of those days. You're tardy to the party and you're obnoxious in the daylight. Plus you're scaring my dogs. Stop now before I light that off in your eye.

2. Kittens: are you not the cutest things I've ever seen? Yes you are. Yes you are. But stop clawing everything you spy with your little eyes. OMG.

3. Bank account: Expand yourself so I can buy that perfectly perfect house.

4. My job and slash Evan's job: If we're not allowed to hang out at work (what the what what? you're suppose to work at work?) then at least let us text.

5. Annoying person spamming my blog: your comments are ridiculous. Do you even speak English? Get out of here.

6. Monday: I hate you a lot. Let me have my weekend and my vacation back.

7. Terrible drivers: you should have your own blog about how terrible you are. But you don't deserve it. So get out of my way, use your blinkers, and don't leave 50000 feet of space between you and the car in front of you. Kthanksbai.

8. Closet: When I say I need you to rapidly expand by Monday at 8:30 am, I kinda mean it. And if you don't, I have to go to work naked because that's the closest thing to business casual I've got.

9. Cake box and wine bottle(s): Why the heck are you empty in my garbage can? I didn't say you could be empty yet. I need something to look forward to from 8 am to 5 pm. Refill yourselves.

10. Tanless skin: It is mid July, you need to soak up some sun whenever you get it. I don't care if it's five frickin minutes. Tan yourself before I'm forced to spray tan. Snooki style.

I contemplated not going back to work after my lunch break and going back to RL instead. It was that kind of a day.

three six five

Three hundred sixty five days of being married to my very best friend in the whole universe. I wouldn't trade a moment of that for anything.

It's been super, so we deserved a super weekend away to celebrate. I loved every minute of it.

(To answer your question Suzy, I live an hour away from the Beartooths.)

Montana is major flooding. This is Rock Creek. It's suppose to be a "rocky creek." It's white capped and over 6 feet deep. Insane. I was so peeved I couldn't walk in it.

"You can tell it's an aspen cause of the way it is."

Little elk friends we almost hit. Sorry elks!

Super sketched out by our year old freezer burned cake. Disgusting.

But I was a sneaky snaaaaake and had one made for us. Also, we are so funny.

Dressed up for dinner slash Evan making fun of me.

Entire mountain chain named after one tiny peak you cannot even see in this picture.

Twenty plus foot glacier drifts along the highway. Evan would not let me out. It was like jail.

It was the best, most relaxing weekend I could have asked for. The weather was perfect, the food was amazing, and I got to spend the entire weekend with my love and I only had to share him with USA soccer for a little bit. We shopped for almost two whole minutes until Evan got bored and we almost broke a forty dollar pottery cup (coincidentally the funniest moment of my life. I'm inappropriate.), we ate ice cream and homemade turtles and I died dead from a sugar high, we ate old wedding cake and new wedding cake, I had the best prime rib I've ever had in my whole life (and I'm 23 and I loveeee prime rib.), we took a neature walk and saw some pretty sweet neature, we even went to a neature center on the way back and saw all sorts of biting goats & mountain cougars & bears, and we drove to the top of the mountains and gasped at how pretty Montana is. Oh, and I wanted to puke from how high up we were. Not because of the altitude but apparently I'm afraid of heights. This was me: "Omg. We are so high up. Look how far down that is. That makes me want to puke." Over and over and over and over again.

I could not have planned a more perfect weekend. We took almost 400 pictures so you're welcome for slimming them down and not clogging up your internet.

I love you EPC.

Week of Thanks, Week Twenty Six

241. Three day weekends. Equals having a job that believes that holidays are meant to be spent with family. Duh.

242. Getting through yet another July third.

243. First fourth as a married couple. Spent with good friends, great pictures, and stand still traffic.

244. Montana skies.

245. Hand written letters.

246. Job offers.

247. Being wanted. It's a nice feeling.

248. Short work weeks that begin and end with vacations.

249. Weekends away with my husband. Laughing uncontrollably and inappropriately.

250. Safe travels. Especially on scary switchbacks and on top of mountains.

251. The first time you see your town when you've been away. Such a beautiful sight to behold.

flashback friday

This weekend, Evan and I are going to the sweetest little mountain town to celebrate our one year anniversary. Are you jealous that I live one hour away from the mountains? Be.

It's going to be so relaxing. So needed. Just away from everything that has caused us grief these past few weeks and months. Jobs (or lack there of, kinda), family, friends, money, Ethiopia, Sybil's pooping babies.....


Plus we'll be celebrating our one year anniversary which, what the what what by the way? Three six five? I don't think so. More like three sixty five seconds, maybe.

And then, last night, Evan and I drove up to Sonic (up, because it's in the "heights.") and we took our drinks to the Rims and sat there and talked, just like old days.

Like old days when Evan and I first hung out just the two of us. "So...uh...do you wanna go up to the Rims and make out?" (Clearly, that was Evan.) "Um.........okay." (Me.) bahaha (Hi, mom! We didn't make out. Don't freak out.) But we sat up there for hours, just talking. Just getting to know each other. Just laughing.

Or like the old days when we'd take our dogs on walks to Zimmerman. Or go watch the hot air balloons float over the city. Or sit on the edge of the Rims and smoke cigars. (I mean, no we did not. Hi again, mom!)

Or like the old days when Evan asked me to go on a walk with him to Zimmerman and instead of a walk, it was more of a stand. Then he proposed.

I love the Rims. I love fate. I love celebrations. I love Evan.

secret secrets

Today was one of the craziest days I've had in a long time. And crazy in a good way. If that's possible.

I rode in the coolest elevator I've ever seen. These things are probably all over the world, but Montana is just catching on. Basically, on a computer screen you pick your floor and then it tells you which elevator to get in to. Then, when you get in, it automatically takes you to the floor you chose. So don't get on the wrong elevator! Also, I stared at the screen and slash wall for like 5 minutes trying to figure it out (yeah, we don't have electricity and we ride horses to work. computers are so gosh dang confusin'!) and this lady just watched me be an idiot.

I was fascinated. Two-years-old.

But why was I in an elevator? Interview.

Lots and lots and lots of good things are happening around here. I'll share soon...don't want to curse my life.

Till then, here are some pretty flowers.

And a bird.

Love my life. =]

Week of Thanks, Week Twenty Five

233. Remember that time I said I was writing a story for our paper? And I said I'd share it if it was published? The support and comments were so touching and so beautiful. I'm surrounded by amazing people. And I'm so thankful for that opportunity. Ps. I love you, mom. Thanks for taking that picture with me. =]

234.  When God provides out of the blue. Which makes me, already bawling in church, cry even harder. (Ten-year-old girl was baptized. Says, "I want God to be the boss of my life. But sommeeeeeetimes I boss my little brother around." So. Cute.)

235. Lunch picnics in the park.

236. When sleep makes your sick go away. (Allergies, I'm talking to you.)

237. Picking wildflowers.

238. When my brother made me homemade Kahlua as a wedding present and now we're down to the last bottle. And I'm using it all for Kahlua and creams. Obsessed.

239. The laziest of days with your husband that include drinks, dinner, hammocks, games, and silly pictures. I love him.

240. Facebook reminders that your anniversary is coming up. Oh, thanks FB.

kittybabes

The babes are just getting cuter and cuter. Minus that they now have full use of their bowels and have learned that this really irritates us most especially when the litter box is not being well used. [GROSS.]

But otherwise, oh man, I can't get enough. They have become little explorers and climbers which has resulted in: falling into the toilet, falling into the deep abyss of our hall closet (which includes suitcases, vacuums, and backpacks. Scary stuff.), falling into the water bowl, falling off the couch, falling off the bed (caught himself by sinking his devil claws into the sheet wrapped around the mattress.), and numerous scratches and tiny puncture wounds to our arms, legs, and feet as we are merely bridges from point A to point B.

We only have about 4ish more weeks with them, and although my allergies will be glad to see them go, me and Syb are going to have some major "empty nest syndrome" going on. Major.

So here's an update on the cuteness that is spewing from our home.

You only get three because the other three were being super anti-social. Divas. That second picture, the gray and white one....yeah we thought she was a boy up until a week and a half ago. Turns out she has girl parts! We called her a "he" for a long time so now she's probably sexually confused. Jamie will appreciate that. JUSTKIDDINGINSIDEJOKE.