the spot

i kind of love this place a lot. usually i go alone and have a few minutes of alone time snapping photos (and making a fool of myself in the wind with a dress.....) but today i took evan with me. and wore pants. he was a good, good sport in the freezing wind while i ran up and down the street taking pictures and screaming about how cold it was. he gifted me a TON of new camera stuff that i haven't even gotten to try out yet. a brand new ZOOM lens and some filters and what i lovingly refer to as my diaper bag to carry all this around in. and i wanted to play around with it today and the wind wasn't having any of it. soon, though. so i can quit my day job and take pictures for the rest of my life.

i love montana in 57 degree winters. if this is what global warming is, then bring it on.

a[nother] new year

2011 slipped right through my fingers, as per usual, and i'm faced with a brand new year to do with whatever i want.


i'm not making any resolutions because i'll break them. what? that's not a good attitude to have? well, life gets right in the way of resolutions sometimes and i'm just going to let life win this time.


even though i loved 2011 i am content to see it go. i realized recently that i'm harboring a lot of anger and resentment in my heart and i want to just let it go. i hold grudges for far too long and i don't even let people know that i'm holding them. i just keep it to myself and let this anger burn deep down in my soul until it eats me up inside.

i know that you can't just "let things go" at the drop of a hat. it's "easier said than done" and all that noise. but i'm going to seriously work on releasing this built up anger and just letting it go.

 so i guess that's my goal for 2012? letting things go, especially past things. and if i still can't let it go, i'm going to have to grow a pair and let it all come out. we'll see. 2012, be good to me, please.

but also, i have some really, really great things happening in my life for 2012. obviously i can't share. it's a surprise. but seriously. plus my house is mine now, so i'm going to DIY the hell out of it. i'm planning 12 projects for my home. bathroom: numero uno. (i haven't even showed you my grandma bathroom yet! orrrr.....the rest of my house. slacking. i'll add it to my list.)

anyway. 2011 was really a great year, mostly. it had it's ups and downs, like all my years, but i turned 23 and i lovelovelove this age.

i went back to africa to see my kiddos and to make some new friends.

i got over my fear of flying long enough to get there and get home and came home with a little less stress about the entire stupid thing.

we bought a home! we bought a home! we bought a home!

see above: i grew my hair really, really, really ridiculously long.

we strolled around denver for free.

we spent the day in DC. dream come true. (also free.)

our kitty had some kitties and evan gave them all away. even bob (left) and i loved him.

***i hope you know these are in no particular order. the ocd part of me is about to freak her freak.

we had our one year anniversary and ate some cake that said "happy anniversary." i surprised evan with it. i'm a sneaky snake. it was delish and much better than our year old freezer burned junk.

we bought ourselves a brand new baby.....camera. (and then i got a million lenses for Christmas!!!)

and then we took some really, really good pictures with it.

i had the biggest word ever, ever. i also got an instagram and started an open relationship with siri, my brand new iphone.

um yeah. this is 2011 best moments worthy.

evan and i had a really great year. we went camping; we took a picture of the same spot once a month; we saw joaquim noah at the denver airport and evan acted like a 14-year-old girl at a jbeibs concert; we trekked it to my land; we had our second christmas as old married people and even took a christmas card picture we sent to ONE whole person; i got a real job that makes a lot of money; we were humbled over and over again by the ways God works; we fell in love a hundred million times all over again; and we just really really had a wonderful year together.

i absolutely cannot wait for the treats that 2012 has in store for us.

happy new year friends. i hope you're blessed.

Date night

Evan and I spent the night ice skating. I could not have asked for a more perfect mid-week date. I am exhausted. Nearly missing 45 children and trying to not get run over by show off hockey players really takes a lot out of a person.

Evan was thee best sport. He didnt complain about his feeties one time. And even though I forgot his socks and gloves, he didn't stay mad at me for too long. (epc, not my fault!)



Seriously, the only thing that kept me going today. Going back to worn is the worst after a long vaca weekend. But skating really does make everything better. It's like chocolate. Except better.

A very merry christmas

I hope you all had a very joyous Christmas surrounded by those you love. 

Ours has been absolutely perfect. 

this and that

my mom and i went on a sweet little mother-daughter date last night to our favorite pizza restaurant and then to watch some figure skating. it was seriously the best Christmas present, everever. we were thisclose to the ice and i had SO much fun.


i used to be a figure skater. i skated for about 5 years and i loved it. i miss it more than anything and i severely regret quitting. SO. i think i'm going back. i'm going to finish my "moves" which is basically technical stuff. the non-fancy stuff. cross overs, spirals, footwork. boring, but essential. and i only have 3 tests left. easy, peasy.


watching the ice skating, and the girls i used to skate with, my heart ached so bad to be out there. when i came home, i told evan i was going to explode if i didn't do an axel right here, right now. so i went in my backyard and popped one out right in front of my neighbor who was totally all, "what the hell is this crazy doing?" good thing, too, since i'm new here and all. but i'm not even kidding. there i was, warming up my legs, jumping around my backyard, holding my landings for a count of three and using my skater hands. my pretty little skater hands.


i'm ridiculous. i'm aware.


in other news, my iphone came today! i was so, so mad at verizon for telling me i had to order it (and not so much that, but the guy saying to me, "like. i. said." excuse me, don't talk to me that way.) and then telling me that it wouldn't ship until january 10th and all this and that so i gave them the finger and ordered it from apple (kidding, but seriously). it was supposed to get here next tuesday or wednesday. i wanted it SO bad before Christmas, since my upgrade was the 21st and all. i was religiously tracking my package yesterday and from 8 am to 5 pm it was in hong kong. i checked it this morning at 9 and it said "billings, mt" and i basically puked my pants off (new saying, ha, tobs =] ), called evan freaking out and called my secretary 592 times to see if it had arrived yet.


my friends and i were heytelling all day long and omg. my mom was SO mad at me. but it was so much fun. also? the new instagram (still running the old one on my ipod....ghettoooooo) is not the same. totally disappointed.

but otherwise? in love. and it is beautiful in its pretty pink case!


i hope you all have a very, merry christmas weekend!

a love note

feeling so much love from this guy today. i am so blessed.

falling apart

i literally think my body miiiight be giving up on me. first, i was shaving my pitties last night and it hurt. i thought i just cut myself and ignored it. but this morning my shirt was rubbing in my arm pit and i was like oh. my. gosh. did i stab myself with the razor? what. the. hell. so i stick my hand all up in my business and no. i have a tumor. a tumor in my arm pit. evan thinks it's just a zit. my mom thinks it's a tumor. (is that where my hypochondria comes from?!) but no, i'm pretty sure it's a tumor. it feels like a marble and it hurts so bad. zits are superficial little bumps not MARBLES under the skin. besides, who gets zits in their arm pits?!

speaking of that, my face has been breaking out like a 12-year-old sweaty boy. everyday i wake up to at least 2 or 3 new friends on my face. it's a blasty.

and then i went to the doctor today and my BP is 128/85. she goes, "do you normally have high blood pressure?"


stress is literally killing me. IN ADDITION? i pulled out 4 half grey hairs last week. I AM TWENTY THREE DAMN IT.


and? i think i'm bipolar. about my job. one day i want to quit and the next i'm in love with it. sometimes i hate it and i want to boot my computer across the parking lot, and the next i can't wait for my next project. probably when i love it is when my supervisor spends 15 minutes telling me how amazing i did on the project that took me over 3 weeks to go through an asinine amount of records and how much it helped in depositions. and probably when i'm not loving it is when i'm working on that project buried 6 feet deep in an asinine amount of records.


so, you tell me.

OH! and i think i have strep throat. that or a viral infection. i haven't had strep throat since my senior year of high school during prom. (yes, my life is that great sometimes. i still went and infected everyone.) but i've had viral infections...ohhhhh about every other day for the past 5 years. remember when i got my tonsils out so my throat would knock that off? YEAHITHOUGHTIDIDTOOBUTGUESSNOT. but i have little white grossies on my throat and my entire mouth hurts. and i've been grinding my teeth so hard at night that i chewed into my cheek.  basically what i'm saying is it's a party in my mouth. (and face. and armpit.)

and that might sort of be my fault for eating approximately 30 pounds of christmas candy. no shame.

i need to de-stress and de-sick and de-tumor myself so i can get on with this life already.

tree trimmin

evan and i fiiiiinally got around to putting up our tree yesterday. we have no excuse. besides we're busier than bumblebees and that's it.


Christmas is my favorite favorite and i'll just probably leave my tree up until my birthday because i'm in love with it. and it smells delish.

i tried, and failed, to make some new ornaments out of glitter and left over moving boxes but since stuff is still in said boxes, it was a little hard. KIDDING. i unpacked enough boxes to cut out stars and then cover my house them in glitter, but they turned out like kindergarten craft time, and so there are five whimpy stars on my tree and i hate them.

so we're still using our inherited bulbs from evan's job and the polaroid ornaments i crafted last year (that i still adore) and some ornaments from kenya and india. and this year, i'm making evan buy me an ornament to commemorate our year and obviously i'll be doing the same, and when we're like 75 we'll have a tree full of memory ornaments and memory polaroids. CUTE.

we also had a dance party in our living room and i got real mad at my bangs earlier when they wouldn't behave so they got the scissors. but, in real life i don't really have three awkward pieces of hair in my face and then a giant triangle of nothing. i'm not 12 anymore, guys.

evan has the prettiest wrapped gifts and i might not let him unwrap them because he likes to rip paper and i'm a paper hoarder who carefully carefully cuts each piece of tape (don't worry, martha, only three per package!) and then meticulously folds the paper for storage and reuse for the next 45 years.

christmas cards

my mom came over today to take a picture for our Christmas cards. since we're married adults, and that's what married adult people do: send Christmas cards. they also don't put up their Christmas tree this late, but we do that, too.


anyway, merry, happy Christmas from us to you. =]

a little instagram magic

excuse my whiny baby post from earlier. i vented it out and now i'm all better obviously.

mostly what did the trick was plastering my instagrams all over my walls.

why yes, those are my neon green walls. i'm kind of in love with them.

oh, and sorry about that horrible lighting. that's what happens when you don't have a light in your livingroom (what the heck? so obnox.) and your lamp shade is all sorts of jacked up for some cheap-target-clearance-rack-reason and it's snowing outside. all those things combined make for horrible lighting in a picture.

and the best part? i don't have to ever ever ever deal with obnoxious frames that refuse to hang on the nail. (do you know what i'm talking about? like how frames have that little triangle hook thingy [technical term] that is supposed to hang on the nail but every time you hold the frame and careeeefullyyy, slowwwwly slide it down the wall to catch the nail it just falls down and it takes probably, ohhh i'd say approximately 45 tries to get it to stay up so you can just hang the stupid thing. then it's crooked and when you go to adjust just a smidge it falls off again.) but look! no nails! only cute baby clothes pins and pretty hemp twine.

ALSO?

have you tried mashed cauliflower yet? or i am the very last person to jump on this bandwagon? dare i say that i might like this more than mashed potatoes? let me rephrase. we don't have any regular milk (almond vanilla!) so i just steamed some cauli, added some buttah, S&P and ye-yum. so...when i get some regular milk, and actually mash these babies up (not just smush them-kinda-with a fork) i'll let you know. but for now, i could eat this 50 times a day (buhbye, taco bell, you've met your match!)

honestly;

today i am unhappy. every 3 or so days i get into this unhappy rut where i just wallow in self pity which turns into anger and lash-outy-ness at everyone and thing around me.

seriously, not pretty.

i'm upset because i feel useless at my job. i am unmotivated and bored. it's not my passion. it's not my dream. it's not where i want to be right now.

i'm upset because there are still a million boxes waiting to be unpacked, rooms to be painted, junk to be put away, garbage to take out, and stuff to donate. tell me, when in a 9 hour work day am i supposed to finish that? the only things that have been 100% knocked off my list are: the laundry and the dishes. oh, and our furniture is here. it's not in it's forever location, but it's here.

i'm upset because i haven't gotten husband time in forever. i want just one freaking second where we're not rushing to the next place we have to be, where we can just be quiet and be together.

i'm upset because i made the best Christmas craft and i'm pretty sure evan "accidentally" threw away my floral wire. with which i was going to make a star. i have literally turned my house upside down looking for it and i know once i go buy some more, there it will be...just right on the floor where i last saw it. where it was most definitely not 2 minutes ago, i can tell you that right now.

i need a break. a re-group sesh. some me time. i need some serious, serious larissa-alone time. and i need a change. some big, crazy and wonderful change.

and i could use some serious x's and o's from my babies.

self;

yesterday evan and i got ourselves an early Christmas present: a gym membership. we always say we're going to go run, or work out, or eat better. and we don't. every week i make excuses as to why my clothes fit tighter and tighter. "oh, they shrunk a little in the washer." um, no, larissa. it's probably the taco bell you ate 13 times last week. (kidding. if i ate taco bell 13 times in a week, i'd need an intervention.)

but,so we got a gym membership. i ellipticalled for about 70 minutes last night and tonight i'm going to bike.

it's nice. and quiet. and clean. i have to pay for it so therefore i have to use it. i don't know if that mentality works for anyone but me, but evan signed us up for an entire YEAR. holy molasses. that is 600 dollaroos! so. that is a LOT of taco bell i will be working off instead of consuming.

i know once i get past the first 2 weeks (goal: go once a day for 14 days) i'll be good. andplus? since evan and i both got a membership, i have a work out buddy. andalso? i read 16% of the way through my new book last night. reading on the elliptical is a lot easier than it sounds. and i don't have earphones or an ipod that works so my work out life will be sound-less TV and/or reading. NOT: staring at the count-down-till-i-can-get-off-this-whore-machine-clock.

i just want to love my body again. i miss my daily ice skating work outs because that was a damn good work out. my core was so toned and my muscles were so lean. and i don't think i had an ounce of fat on my body. (dear past larissa, don't ever stop ice skating. thanks, future larissa.) seriously. if i could just get a membership to the rink and do that daily, oh man. i'd never leave.


and since you can't just work out and then go eat like crap, we also grocery shopped for the first time in ages last night AND thus begins my month of NO. FAST. FOOD.

currently: exhausted, and loving it.


 

filed under: "from hell"

this week....not my week.

i'm a gift card hoarder. i am the worst at spending them. i've been holding onto this spa gift card for like 3 years probably. i had this reflexology foot massage once and it was the most relaxing, amazing time i've ever had in my whole life. so, on monday, when i spent the morning curled up in a ball under my desk (not really, but almost) i was like, "i need a massage. cashing in this gift card."


so i called. asked for the RE-FLEX-OL-O-GY foot massage. tonight i go for my massage, totally ready to be next to comatose---it's that relaxing---but no. i get some thai foot massage crap. literally, this infant girl rubbing my feet in the pedicure room. with a wooden stick. for like 15 minutes. for $40. uhhhmmmmmmmmmmno.

usually they take you into the spa where it's all dark and cozy and you strip down and put on the most amazing baby lamby robe and then they soothe you with good smells and pretty fish and licorice tea. and instead, she took me into this bright room with a million (okay, 4, same thing.) other people and soaked my feet for literally.......30 seconds. and i was wearing boots and leggings because i was all ready to be relaxed out of my mind and be so, so, so comfortable. and the girl looks at me like i'm a lunatic. well, duh. i practically had to strip down in front of these million (4, again, sorry. but still the same thing) other people so she could "rub my feet" and i didn't even get a stupid robe. and i did have a glass of tea but i didn't refill it because hello, you don't need tea when you're comatose and slash laying on a bed. 

1. not relaxing.
2. not impressed.



this week's only redeeming quality? tomorrow is friday AND our furniture comes on saturday. AND i just bought some nail polish because i needed some retail therapy after this week slash that.



defffffinitely not how i wanted to start my december. but on the brighter side, i'm making the coolest Christmas crafts right now. and we'll just pretend that today was november 31st and december can start itself over, the correct way, tomorrow.