honestly;

today i am unhappy. every 3 or so days i get into this unhappy rut where i just wallow in self pity which turns into anger and lash-outy-ness at everyone and thing around me.

seriously, not pretty.

i'm upset because i feel useless at my job. i am unmotivated and bored. it's not my passion. it's not my dream. it's not where i want to be right now.

i'm upset because there are still a million boxes waiting to be unpacked, rooms to be painted, junk to be put away, garbage to take out, and stuff to donate. tell me, when in a 9 hour work day am i supposed to finish that? the only things that have been 100% knocked off my list are: the laundry and the dishes. oh, and our furniture is here. it's not in it's forever location, but it's here.

i'm upset because i haven't gotten husband time in forever. i want just one freaking second where we're not rushing to the next place we have to be, where we can just be quiet and be together.

i'm upset because i made the best Christmas craft and i'm pretty sure evan "accidentally" threw away my floral wire. with which i was going to make a star. i have literally turned my house upside down looking for it and i know once i go buy some more, there it will be...just right on the floor where i last saw it. where it was most definitely not 2 minutes ago, i can tell you that right now.

i need a break. a re-group sesh. some me time. i need some serious, serious larissa-alone time. and i need a change. some big, crazy and wonderful change.

and i could use some serious x's and o's from my babies.