falling apart

i literally think my body miiiight be giving up on me. first, i was shaving my pitties last night and it hurt. i thought i just cut myself and ignored it. but this morning my shirt was rubbing in my arm pit and i was like oh. my. gosh. did i stab myself with the razor? what. the. hell. so i stick my hand all up in my business and no. i have a tumor. a tumor in my arm pit. evan thinks it's just a zit. my mom thinks it's a tumor. (is that where my hypochondria comes from?!) but no, i'm pretty sure it's a tumor. it feels like a marble and it hurts so bad. zits are superficial little bumps not MARBLES under the skin. besides, who gets zits in their arm pits?!

speaking of that, my face has been breaking out like a 12-year-old sweaty boy. everyday i wake up to at least 2 or 3 new friends on my face. it's a blasty.

and then i went to the doctor today and my BP is 128/85. she goes, "do you normally have high blood pressure?"


stress is literally killing me. IN ADDITION? i pulled out 4 half grey hairs last week. I AM TWENTY THREE DAMN IT.


and? i think i'm bipolar. about my job. one day i want to quit and the next i'm in love with it. sometimes i hate it and i want to boot my computer across the parking lot, and the next i can't wait for my next project. probably when i love it is when my supervisor spends 15 minutes telling me how amazing i did on the project that took me over 3 weeks to go through an asinine amount of records and how much it helped in depositions. and probably when i'm not loving it is when i'm working on that project buried 6 feet deep in an asinine amount of records.


so, you tell me.

OH! and i think i have strep throat. that or a viral infection. i haven't had strep throat since my senior year of high school during prom. (yes, my life is that great sometimes. i still went and infected everyone.) but i've had viral infections...ohhhhh about every other day for the past 5 years. remember when i got my tonsils out so my throat would knock that off? YEAHITHOUGHTIDIDTOOBUTGUESSNOT. but i have little white grossies on my throat and my entire mouth hurts. and i've been grinding my teeth so hard at night that i chewed into my cheek.  basically what i'm saying is it's a party in my mouth. (and face. and armpit.)

and that might sort of be my fault for eating approximately 30 pounds of christmas candy. no shame.

i need to de-stress and de-sick and de-tumor myself so i can get on with this life already.