& then there were three.

world, meet my tiny human: Maddox Oliver. born march 26 at 2:27 pm, 7 pounds, 3 ounces and 20.5 inches long. he is the sweetest baby i've ever seen. so many expressions and sounds and baby hand holding and cuddles all day long because we physically cannot put him down. his hair is curly and he sure has my attitude, just like we suspected. but i can't even describe the love i have for this little man and my perfect family. i don't feel that something was missing before he was here but i cannot imagine my life without him now. every single fear i had about being pregnant and having a baby at (what i feel) is such a young age and early part of our marriage is gone and everything is just perfect and beautiful and i have this desire to stop time for a million years and hang out with my brand new baby before he grows up another second. he's just amazing and i've never felt so blessed in my whole life. there's honestly nothing better than a fleece snuggly blanket and a newborn baby. seriously.

thirty8

 i'm on strict orders from my cousin danielle to BLOG OR HAVE THIS BABY. so this is me blogging and not having a baby.

in real life, i would only have TWO weeks left until this baby arrives. TWO. it amazes me how fast time speeds by when you have a countdown going. i told my friend kristin that if she ever needed to speed through a year, just have a kid! it seems like our announcement was SOO long ago. and september was really not that long. i can't hardly remember january through now. i swear i'll wake up in a minute and it'll be july and evan and i will still have this sweet little secret between us and another 9 months to plan.

but back to real life. who knows how long this baby intends to stay put. because my body has stopped progressing with labor and is the same as it was last week. but i've been getting more preeclamptic symptoms like a swollen face and more headaches and so this baby *might* be here this week.  which could be DAYS. because now, even with these stupid new symptoms, my blood pressure has leveled out and my doctor wants to just let me go until my body is ready. which i'm fairly certain will be never because baby seems to love it up in there.

but tonight calls for another date night. so. that's happening.

i cannot even explain how ready i am, though. we have a pillow top mattress and i officially cannot get out of bed. it is too soft and comfortable. i just sink right in and need a fork lift to lift me out of there. i also wake up approximately every 3 hours which makes me hope that my body is going into extreme prepare mode. i've never been so annoyed with seeing 2:00 am on my clock as i am now. because it means i have like 4 more hours to toss and turn and not sleep that well. except i did sleep from 11:30-4:30 on tuesday day. like a 5 hour NAP. WHAT IN THE WORLD. and i still went to bed at 10 and was out for most of the night. i was clearly exhausted.

in other news: MY BATHROOM IS FINISHED. praise the lord and pass the ammunition. i mean, three months. THREE MONTHS. just in time for the baby.

so everyone cross your fingers and toes and say a prayer that this baby comes speedy fast. or waits until easter because i'm still hoping for a sweet little easter babe. EVEN THOUGH TARGET EASTER OUTFITS ARE KILLING ME DEAD.

thirtyseven

it's so weird being so close to having this baby here and still having absolutely no idea when baby is coming. apparently they have their own timing. or so i keep hearing. that's annoying for this over planner. we had our weekly appointment on tuesday where i told her i absolutely would.not be induced if my body wasn't ready and she promised not to do that to me. and my body is cooperating already at 37 weeks so here's hoping it stays cooperating.

we also have to now do weekly ultrasounds to check the fluid levels and make sure the babe is growing and all that jazz. mostly i feel like it's a ploy to suck more money from me, but we get to see the baby so i'm not complaining that much. this time the tech whipped through it but gave us a picture of our baby making a duck face. our babe also likes to stick its tongue out AND. ANNNNND in the picture you can see the eye. THE EYES ARE OPEN.

i mean. crazy!

we've also been catching up on private practice and i'm going to tell my doctor that i know everything about having babies because of this show. evan and i chose not to take the child birth education class because the teacher is a loon. so really, we have no idea what we're doing. but seriously the teacher. she called me on the phone to find out if we were coming to class and no, because it is on evan's only week night off and with 4 weeks to go we just couldn't give up that night for those 4 weeks (plus 6-9. my bedtime is 8. c'mon.) and then i was put on bed rest and then the teacher told me that she has a mattress for me to lay on. and she kept talking about giving birth to me on the phone and what my body is going to do and i went into 5th grade girl mode and was like STAAAAAHP. and so we decided not to go because we're immature and feel like winging it. no one tell my doctor.

evan also was the sweetest this weekend and took me on our "last" date. we went for thai and froyo and hung out as a party of two for maybe the last time. and if this baby stays put for another week there'll be another "last" date. and another, and another until this baby comes along. and as much as i want a million more last dates, i'm ready for this baby to arrive. i also wonder if people look at me and think TEEN MOM because seriously, i look like i'm 15. i'm tired. those are bags under my eyes. and i literally didn't get out of bed until 4. get it together, larissa.

there are also people in our lives who don't understand the whole "having a baby" thing. like, being annoyed with us for not hanging out with them, asking us to go out to bars (hiiii, i'm 37 weeks pregnant. not appropriate.) and junk. it's frustrating and i just want to shake them. i love giving people space because i love my space and apparently this isn't a mutual thing for everyone. ALSO. someone straight up copied our pregnancy announcements and i'm kind of livid about it. i don't get people. i should wear a sign that says, "i'm 37 weeks pregnant and you shouldn't mess with me." because truth.

bits & pieces:: a baby mobile

the nursery is pretty much done. we have a few finishing touches to add here and there but the baby will survive without those final things. so, until we have the room 100% complete, i'll be sharing some bits & pieces and little DIYs that we've done to make this room extra, extra special.

first up: our baby mobile.

i've had these paper cranes left over from my wedding & they desperately needed a home. i knew we would do something with them involving some type of mobile or decoration but don't ever google "origami crane mobile" or you will be devastatingly overwhelmed. also, i had a limited supply and color pallet and i suppose i could have folded some more but let's be honest about how likely i am to do that. i had too many ideas in my brain until i finally found this pin on pinterest (and her entire nursery is A MA ZING, especially the before and after pictures). the sticks were my favorite part about hers and i spent a good little while trying to find sturdy sticks in my yard that weren't half demolished by our dogs. i had no idea how well the sticks would match our curtains and i love that.

this was maybe the easiest project i've ever completed. i got in a fight with the sticks being uneven and not cooperating, but we knocked this project out in a few hours. i threaded some fishing wire through the cranes and tied a knot below them to hold them into place. evan was in charge of tying the wire to the sticks which was an obnoxious and tedious task and why he did it and not me. we hung it in the corner of the room, right in front of the all the amazing light this room gets (totally jealous about that).

i am so blessed to have a husband who has no problem with my DIYs and is eager and willing to help. and also willing to climb on a ladder to screw in the hook to hang this (i hate ladders) and also willing to hold it up all over the room until we found the perfect spot for it to live. my guy is seriously the best.

thirty six

i remember way back when i was 26ish weeks and how grumbly and complainy i was because of how huge i felt. i am now laughing at myself and i also want to shake myself for not loving how easy life was with such a small baby bump. when i could still put my own socks on and didn't get stuck laying down and had a bajillion clothing options. oh, silly larissa.

this was my first full week of bed rest and i so enjoyed doing absolutely nothing. i was pretty good at it for the most part but i did make a target run because we needed new sheets and a few other random things i could have asked evan to get me but i also really wanted a slushy and needed to get out of the house for 5 seconds. i also made mint chocolate chip cookies because they sounded really, really good and my mema has THEE best recipe for them. except for that it literally makes like 6 dozen cookies and i don't even care. they are delicious and the equivalent of my childhood.

and i also hung out with a few of our friends for one last pre-baby hang, so i'm maybe not very good at this whole bed rest thing afterall. and although i've been like, anti-anyone for the most part of this pregnancy because leave me alone, i'm growing a human, i had SO much fun.

you guys. look at that belly (and not my insanely swollen hands)! it's a basketball, right? that's a boy. i feel like a little kid who stuck the balloon in her shirt (guilty). people are probably like, "that chick is not preggers. she is faking it. that is a balloon." it is not. it's a basketball, okay?!

oh. and want to hear the best and worst story of how most people should not be allowed to speak to pregnant women? the day i learned i had to go on modified bed rest i was sitting in the communal computer lab at work and this lady came in to ask me a million questions about how i was feeling and stuff and said, "you are so tiny! you have the smallest little basketball belly!" truth is, i don't feel tiny so i wanted to hug and kiss her face because THAT is what you should say to a pregnant lady. then i ran into the head of HR who i had been communicating with about going on bedrest and junk and she said, "ooohhh! you look so uncomfortable! you look like if you move the wrong way the baby is just going to fall out." LIKE, WHAT?! i think that the baby has dropped significantly this week BUT this interaction was two weeks ago right after my doctor's appt where she told me the baby is all lodged up in my ribs. there is a lot of room for that baby to travel through before it just "falls out." but thanks for that.

we find out on tuesday if i'm being induced or not (which i'm not because HELL. NO. to days of labor that will likely still require an emergency c-section) and when. i'm 99% ready. evan promised he'd tackle the last thing on my list which is clean out my car and install the car seat. my bags are packed, everything is washed and ready, camera is charged, playlists are made, i'm ready. let's do this thang. c'mon baaaaaby!

little baby

because of my preeclamptic condition i have to do a bajillion tests between now and the end to make sure that the baby is still growing properly and getting enough nutrients and doing all the things it should be doing while i lie around in bed and watch kourtney and khloe take miami because i heart trashy reality TV.

so today i laid on a bed for a twenty minute non-stress test to monitor the baby's heart and if i was having any contractions [which i maybe did? or it was just me laughing at how much the baby haaaaaated the monitors?] and i got to watch the baby's heart beat out at a speedy 150 bpm and listen to that watery heart beat while i looked at evan and was like yes. this. we are going to be parents.

it was one of those moments that hits you like a truck doing 80. it's a moment that isn't even new at all but the realization of it is just about enough to blind you. it's something we've said a million times since last july. it's something we talk about on a daily basis. it's a room i peek into every time i walk by it. it's little baby things like bottles and binkies and diapers and onesies scattered around my house. and sometimes it's still just brand new, this idea that i have a human being growing inside of me and evan is going to be a dad [the best] and my parents are going to be first-time grandparents and we're going to get zero hours of sleep and our lives are going to change in the very best way because we're having a baby.

we're having a baby.

and so i sat in a room with my family that has grown from just the two of us to almost three in just a few short months and my heart could have just burst with excitement and joy.


AND THEN. we had another ultrasound which we wouldn't have had without these other complications and i am so thankful we got to peek inside my belly one last time. the baby had it's little arms and legs measured and we saw those perfectly pouty baby lips and button nose and the hands! the hands that won't leave the side of the baby's face and that opened and closed, opened and closed like it was waving to us and i almost cried.

this ultrasound was insane because of how big the baby is. the entire baby does not fit on the screen anymore. and it looks like a baby. it has lips and eyes and fingers and toes! it has a foot jammed up in my rib cage and i got to see it all. the baby was wide awake and performed so well for all the tests we had today.

proud mama.

right in the middle: nose and lips and a hand. the tech also said, "let's measure his little head." so. maybe there's a little evan in there. three weeks and we'll see!

[untitled]

i know i'm supposed to be resting but taking maternity pictures is much more fun. we needed one last photoshoot of the two (point 5) of us before this little baby arrives so we spent the morning on top of a parking garage and at a frozen river. evan wouldn't let me get too crazy with our locations because of the whole "bed rest" thing. whatevs.

also evan hates those felt hearts and i am in love with them [obviously i won].

i CANNOT wait for this little baby to be here and tag along on our photo dates. i love this man and i am so glad he humors me and let's me be crazy sometimes always. ALSO: he painted my toes last night. so. i'm kind of smitten.

35

thirty five weeks was not a good time. but i got through this week and tomorrow it's on to the next. which means technically there should only be four weeks left but there are probably more like two. maybe three. maybe zero. maybe this week is the week.

i guess my horrible week started on sunday when i couldn't breathe very well. i know not only having a baby scrunched in your ribs and also all this extra weight on the front of my body is making it hard to breathe but i sat through an hour of church feeling like i couldn't catch my breath. google happens to be my best friend and also worst enemy and it told me that shortness of breath is super common in the last few weeks and nothing to worry about unless it's accompanied by heart palpitations. which mine was. which made me freak out and call my mom who does heart surgery and junk and knows everything there is to know about hearts [next to christina yang, of course] and who took my BP a million times and felt my racing and erratic pulse and saw that i was having trouble breathing and made me call the family birth center to see what they suggested.

they told me to go to the ER because it sounded like a heart problem and not a baby problem. so evan drove me to the ER where i had a moment [or like 50] of complete and utter inability to make a decision. i had controlled my breathing and my pulse had calmed down so it didn't seem like that big of a deal anymore and i didn't want to deal with an ER bill because those things are like mortgage payments and i already have one of those and don't need another.

so we sat in the parking lot making a list of why i should go in. probably 2 hours later [i'm not even exaggerating but let me just say i have the most patient and understanding husband in the whole world] i decided not to go because i had an appointment the following morning.

soooooo. i had to do a urine sample at that doctor's appointment because i've had some terrible swelling and headaches and my blood pressure has been high. all these things are signs of preeclampsia which can only be cured by delivery of the baby. they did the test right away and found protein in my urine but needed further tests to see if it was just a thing or if it was a sign that i have preeclampsia.

in addition to that i told her about my horrible stomach pains and she told me that is a huge sign of preeclampsia. UNLIKE whatever the heck the L&D nurse told me. shower and lie down. psh, no. there are a million different symptoms and you can have them all or you can have a few but it seems like i have all the random ones that could be mistaken as something else. [such as this random pain in my right shoulder that evan rubs every single night. i couldn't figure out what was causing it because i'm being pretty lazy so i googled it and the only thing that came up was gallbladder pain and i was like meh. my gallbladder is fine. BUT THEN. preeclamptic pain can cause RIGHT. SHOULDER. PAIN that is often confused with gallbladder pain AND OR heart burn. WHAT?! what is that even?]

and so to further understand if i was having an off day or if i truly am preeclamptic, i had to do a 24 hour urine collection which is exactly what it sounds like: collecting all my pee for 24 hours and keeping. it. chilled. needless to say, i did not go to work while i did this collection. you are welcome, work.

and my levels came back high so now i'm mildly preeclamptic and my doctor put me on immediate bed rest. because you cannot get better from this, you can only get worse. so now i'm on bed rest. i convinced her to let me work a little bit so i get to work MWF for four hours and the rest of the time i am a couch potato. she told me no chores. no shopping. no errands. lay down and shut up.

it also means that i cannot carry this baby to 40 weeks because we need the baby to be as developed as possible but we also need to get this baby out before the placenta detaches itself or i stroke out or it turns into eclampsia. so 39 weeks is the latest i'll go which completely ruins my chances for an easter  baby [easter is 40 weeks exactly] and that is a bummer.

we want a healthy baby so i'm doing nothing. laying in bed and taking naps and being quiet and checking my BP a lot. and also drinking gallons of water because just like at the beginning how i didn't want anything but water, now i'm at the end and i still don't want anything but water.

so. thanks 35 weeks for being a B hole. and also march for being a B hole 3 years in a row. i'll give you 29 more days to shape up but seriously march 1 is my 2nd least favorite day in the whole year.

[i'm still taking bump photos but i'm over sharing them. i have them in my scrap book for me and that's that.]