35

thirty five weeks was not a good time. but i got through this week and tomorrow it's on to the next. which means technically there should only be four weeks left but there are probably more like two. maybe three. maybe zero. maybe this week is the week.

i guess my horrible week started on sunday when i couldn't breathe very well. i know not only having a baby scrunched in your ribs and also all this extra weight on the front of my body is making it hard to breathe but i sat through an hour of church feeling like i couldn't catch my breath. google happens to be my best friend and also worst enemy and it told me that shortness of breath is super common in the last few weeks and nothing to worry about unless it's accompanied by heart palpitations. which mine was. which made me freak out and call my mom who does heart surgery and junk and knows everything there is to know about hearts [next to christina yang, of course] and who took my BP a million times and felt my racing and erratic pulse and saw that i was having trouble breathing and made me call the family birth center to see what they suggested.

they told me to go to the ER because it sounded like a heart problem and not a baby problem. so evan drove me to the ER where i had a moment [or like 50] of complete and utter inability to make a decision. i had controlled my breathing and my pulse had calmed down so it didn't seem like that big of a deal anymore and i didn't want to deal with an ER bill because those things are like mortgage payments and i already have one of those and don't need another.

so we sat in the parking lot making a list of why i should go in. probably 2 hours later [i'm not even exaggerating but let me just say i have the most patient and understanding husband in the whole world] i decided not to go because i had an appointment the following morning.

soooooo. i had to do a urine sample at that doctor's appointment because i've had some terrible swelling and headaches and my blood pressure has been high. all these things are signs of preeclampsia which can only be cured by delivery of the baby. they did the test right away and found protein in my urine but needed further tests to see if it was just a thing or if it was a sign that i have preeclampsia.

in addition to that i told her about my horrible stomach pains and she told me that is a huge sign of preeclampsia. UNLIKE whatever the heck the L&D nurse told me. shower and lie down. psh, no. there are a million different symptoms and you can have them all or you can have a few but it seems like i have all the random ones that could be mistaken as something else. [such as this random pain in my right shoulder that evan rubs every single night. i couldn't figure out what was causing it because i'm being pretty lazy so i googled it and the only thing that came up was gallbladder pain and i was like meh. my gallbladder is fine. BUT THEN. preeclamptic pain can cause RIGHT. SHOULDER. PAIN that is often confused with gallbladder pain AND OR heart burn. WHAT?! what is that even?]

and so to further understand if i was having an off day or if i truly am preeclamptic, i had to do a 24 hour urine collection which is exactly what it sounds like: collecting all my pee for 24 hours and keeping. it. chilled. needless to say, i did not go to work while i did this collection. you are welcome, work.

and my levels came back high so now i'm mildly preeclamptic and my doctor put me on immediate bed rest. because you cannot get better from this, you can only get worse. so now i'm on bed rest. i convinced her to let me work a little bit so i get to work MWF for four hours and the rest of the time i am a couch potato. she told me no chores. no shopping. no errands. lay down and shut up.

it also means that i cannot carry this baby to 40 weeks because we need the baby to be as developed as possible but we also need to get this baby out before the placenta detaches itself or i stroke out or it turns into eclampsia. so 39 weeks is the latest i'll go which completely ruins my chances for an easter  baby [easter is 40 weeks exactly] and that is a bummer.

we want a healthy baby so i'm doing nothing. laying in bed and taking naps and being quiet and checking my BP a lot. and also drinking gallons of water because just like at the beginning how i didn't want anything but water, now i'm at the end and i still don't want anything but water.

so. thanks 35 weeks for being a B hole. and also march for being a B hole 3 years in a row. i'll give you 29 more days to shape up but seriously march 1 is my 2nd least favorite day in the whole year.

[i'm still taking bump photos but i'm over sharing them. i have them in my scrap book for me and that's that.]