Week of Thanks, Week Seven.

68. Homemade dinner and food praises from Evan. I do not want to be the wife that sucks at cooking because I will not. And I am not. =] Hurray!

69. Having a husband who encourages me more than I could ever ask. Seriously, I don't think I could make it through the day without him.

70. Ice cream sundaes made by Evan who is the ice cream master!

71. Finally filling out my subbing application and feeling a million pounds of stress being lifted off my shoulders. (And then jk, because someone dot dot dot talked me out of it.)

72. The guy from Mustard Seed who messed up Kori's order so I got to bring home some random, unfortunate person's dessert for Evan and I.

73. Logan and Erin. Adorable, hilarious, perfect for each other.

74. Iced caramel macchiatos. Especially when Evan brings me one at work.

75. Listening to a favorite song and hearing a lyrics for the first time. Like today, "then I would die but at least then I'd be free." xo, The Spill Canvas.

76. The nicest blog posts from friends (Cody, that's you). And then followed up by a hilarious one. (Ps. Buying new Wii games for our Wii party.)

When I was 19 I had my first mid life crisis. I had like 180 panic attacks in a row about what I was going to be when I grew up. It wasn't even a big deal. I was freaking 19-years-old. I should have punched the advisers in the face for forcing me to pick a major and then screwing it up 9 times. But I didn't. Instead, I let myself get super stressed about what job I would find with this major as apposed to that. I had coffee with so many different people whom I respected wholeheartedly because I needed someone to give me step-by-step instructions on where my life was going.

And no one freaking did.


And so now, this is me, repeating history. This is me with a college degree in a job that doesn't use it, not making enough money, and freaking out about what I want to be when I grow up. Which turns out, is tomorrow.

The other night when I was having a moment, Evan said to me, "It's going to be okay. Whatever you do, whatever we do, it's going to be okay." And I kept waiting for the "And this is what you're going to do: _________" Because that's all that I wanted to hear. And it never came. And it angers me that no one will co-manage my life for me right now.



But guess what?! Ethiopia: October 15-29. But I'm going for longer. Seriously, this time. The trips keep getting shorter, and I'm not going to travel for 3+ days and hang out with my kiddos for like 2. I am so stinkin' excited I could scream.

=]

Amidst all the stress, the tears, the frustrations, the nail biting, the anger, and the exhaustion...

I 

have

learned...

God is good.

All the time.

Week of Thanks: Week Six.

 

60. Seeing people from my past life who remember my hopes and dreams and ask me if I'm achieving them. Well, no, but it means a lot to me that you remember =]

61. Husbands.

62. The funniest Valentine's Day card from Evan. And the prettiest flowers. He's so sneaky. And wonderful.

63. Homemade lasagna. Made by me. So it's the best.

64. Laughing so hard at work I started crying. (A. I accidentally called 911. B. I called this girl and left a message and was trying to give her the phone number but I just started saying random numbers and then my friend Ellen started laughing so I started laughing and then I just started spouting off all this random nonsense while trying not to lose it on the phone. Um, Ellen and Bjorg are basically the best people I've ever worked with. Love love love them.)

65. I started reading a book but then got sidetracked and stopped. I kept carrying it around hoping to start again and when I finally did, a sweet little note my friend wrote me at a bar fell out and totally made my night.

66. Game nights with friends.

67. The man who shoveled our sidewalks with his four wheeler. Thank you, because we are over doing any sort of winter work.

Six confessions.

Last week a million people did this six confessions thing and I'm totes jumping on the bandwagon late because it's what I do.


1. Whenever I use the bathroom at someone's house, I always check the shower/bathtub for various reasons. Of course I'm paranoid some freak is just hanging out in there listening to me pee because I'm paranoid about everything. But more than that, I judge you based on the condition of your shower. And mostly based on whether I would shower with or without flip flops in your shower. (I would wear shoes in 98% of America's showers probably.) (I'm afraid of germs. And everything. Don't be offended.)

2. I used to say that I was a picky eater. But as I've gotten older I've realized there aren't too many foods I won't eat. But I will not eat my food if it touches my other foods. Like mashed potatoes that get steak juices on them? No. Ew. Or when my turkey touches my cranberries? No. Ew. But I will eat mushrooms and avocados and sour cream and spinach and meat and tomatoes which is more than a lot of people. So I'm not really that picky.

3. I think I'm secretly allergic to cats and possibly dogs. But I possess both. And I also sneeze like 500 times a day when I'm at home. And my eyes itch a whole lot when I touch them. Oops. But I'm not ready to give my babies up just yet.

4. I have taught my body that I must have dessert after every meal. I will literally eat something and go into a sugar-deprived-coma if I don't get some sort of sugar coursing through my veins in 5 seconds. I have gained one inch in my hips in like a month and that is not good. No. More. Sugar! (That is a confession and a half right there, my friends. What a treat for you!)

5. Someday, I'm going to write a book but I haven't decided what I want to write about yet. I feel that nothing book-worthy enough has happened in my life. However, I am scared of writing a story and it ending up being sold at the Dollar Tree. I've also pondered a million different book ideas in my mind and every time I start a new book I feel gypped that the author totes stole that idea right out of my head.

6. When I was in Ethiopia, Evan pushed me against the window of the bus because he was being a jerk. I was so stressed out that I touched the dirty window and the curtains from 1965 that have never been washed that I started crying. Literally bawling. In the middle of our bus. In Africa. On the way to the orphanage. In front of like 20 people. I was so embarrassed that I started laughing at myself but I couldn't stop crying so I was trying to play it off like "haha that was so funny I can't stop laughing. And now I'm crying. ha. ha. ha."  But I really was crying. Hard. Since then, I have laughed super, super hard which has resulted in crying more than just a few laugh tears. And at several of those happenings, I have been confused as to whether or not I am crying or laughing. And it's all Evan's fault.

I curled my hair all cute and junk for Valentine's Day. With my straightener. Via Ellen.

Personally...

This is me being super stressed out.


About every. little. thing.

I'm struggling with being sick constantfrickingly (oh ps. my tonsils are the size of small apples and they are covered in gross owies. But can I go to the correct doctor for this? um no. I cannot. So instead I get to go to same day care and I want to punch those people sometimes.)

I'm struggling with this point I get to in relationships where things just start to fall apart.

I'm struggling with myself. With who I am, and who I want to be, and how I want to get there.

I'm struggling with my job and my monetary situation.

I'm struggling with my tooth that has decided it wants to hurt like no tooth has ever hurt in my mouth before. Like every time I take a step all the blood rushes to this specific tooth and makes it throb. And it's obnoxious. And it hurts. I'm giving it two days to shape up before I drill into it myself.

I'm struggling with myself and trying to be someone I'm not to make other people happy. And that isn't okay.

I'm struggling with God because I don't want to wait anymore.

I'm struggling with myself because I don't feel good enough anymore.



I'm mostly just upset. And I don't know how to say it. And the other part that isn't upset, is sick and hurt and tired.

I'm excited about...

Danielle, of Sometimes Sweet, posted the best list of things she's excited about and I want to join in on the fun!

Click here to see Danielle's post and join in. =]

I'm beyond excited for...

- Summer. I cannot even begin to explain my excitement for hot weather, shorts, tshirts, flip flops, barefeet, swimming, and no no no no no snow!!!
- Finding a fly in my bathroom today. A live, living, alive fly. Is that weird? No, because it means it's almost SUMMER!!!
- Evan asking me if I would like to not only take a little weekend trip for my birthday, but a random overnight trip for Valentine's Day. Um, duh? 
- Cooking a Valentine's dinner for my sweetheart.
- Not needing a specific, corporate initiated holiday to show Evan that I love him.
- Eating the rest of my mom's homemade dumpling and chicken noodle soup because she is the best.
- Continually decorating my home and loving coming home to it everyday.
- My free month of Netflix. I am obsessed.
- Game nights with the hubs. I have stockpiled a multitude of two person games that I force him to play with me over and over and over. And he always wins.
- My bright and shiny future with Evan. I love him so.

Week of thanks, week five.

53. Selling $2,000 to one bride. It was a good day.

54. Karaoke with my friendies! Especially when Evan sang "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry. And then those guys took a picture of him (ok that was weird. Video, okay. But a picture? Weird.) And then that annoying drunk girl was all up in his grill (which was not okay) but I am thankful that he comes home to me! And then those guys who totes tried to give me a piece of paper with what I'm assuming was a number and I just glared at them. Because I no longer have to worry about that junk. Love my life.

55. Finishing book three of the Hunger Games. Three huge books in a little over a week. I have a problem.

56. The things that come out of Bjorg's mouth: "Do you know what they call that town? Horse shit." "You shouldn't be a cop. You would shoot everything." "She didn't know what the hell she wanted and it looked like shit." Love her.

57. Having a sales total of over 9,000 dollars in one week.

58. Waking up without an alarm 45 minutes before work. Ooops! And so lucky I did.

59. The nicest comments, ever, from the nicest people ever. <3 <3 <3

Week of Thanks, Week Four.

41. Evan's job calling him to tell him to stay home on my day off. So we can actually have a day off together for once.

42. Finishing book 1 in "The Hunger Games" and freaking out every other page to no one because Evan hasn't read it yet. And I may have been hogging my Kindle.

43. Having a lazy day because I can.

44. Three days off in a row! And spending two of them with Evan.

45. Olive Garden food. Yum. Especially the new shrimp, pear, Gorgonzola, and balsamic glaze dish. (That is right, PEAR. Delish.)

46. Deep cleaning my house. I loveeee the way that feels. And then rearranging. Even better.

47. Bowling with friendsies. Perfect.

48. Encouraging e-mails from friends.

49. Going to print some pictures and finding my printer already plugged in. I do heart my printer because it is super speedy, except for when it's turning on. It's like waking a hibernating bear, I swear it takes at least 20 minutes to warm up and finally decide to do it's job. (And everyone knows how patient I am or not.) But then bambambam prints in 3 seconds flat.

50. Gift cards to fancy dinners AND spur of the moment dinner reservations (but not the horseradish mashed potatoes. Ew. I hateeeee horseradish. Bleh.).

51. Finishing book TWO in the Hunger Games and getting half way through book three. In a week. Speed reader. Also, I'm going to have to take a hiatus from reading because nothing can compare to this book. Seriously.

52. The Pack winning the Super Bowl!!!!! Whoop whoop!!! =]]]