Wednesday, February 16, 2011


This is me being super stressed out.

About every. little. thing.

I'm struggling with being sick constantfrickingly (oh ps. my tonsils are the size of small apples and they are covered in gross owies. But can I go to the correct doctor for this? um no. I cannot. So instead I get to go to same day care and I want to punch those people sometimes.)

I'm struggling with this point I get to in relationships where things just start to fall apart.

I'm struggling with myself. With who I am, and who I want to be, and how I want to get there.

I'm struggling with my job and my monetary situation.

I'm struggling with my tooth that has decided it wants to hurt like no tooth has ever hurt in my mouth before. Like every time I take a step all the blood rushes to this specific tooth and makes it throb. And it's obnoxious. And it hurts. I'm giving it two days to shape up before I drill into it myself.

I'm struggling with myself and trying to be someone I'm not to make other people happy. And that isn't okay.

I'm struggling with God because I don't want to wait anymore.

I'm struggling with myself because I don't feel good enough anymore.

I'm mostly just upset. And I don't know how to say it. And the other part that isn't upset, is sick and hurt and tired.

7 loves:

  1. Larissa, I am so sorry to hear your so miserable :(. I hope everything is okay with your husband?! I get like that sometimes too, where I struggle with my body image, that I'm not good enough. It's normal ... just remember that you are an AMAZING woman. Someday soon we will get what we want. We just have to be patient [I know you don't like to be] and work hard. We have the rest of our lives to live. If you think too far ahead in the future you will loose sight of what is right in front of you. And I wouldn't want you to miss out on all those beautiful memories. I hope your tonsils go down, and that your tooth feels better. Have you tried Anbesol?! My teeth are super sensitive and one day I decided to whiten my teeth overnight [Dr. said I could put some in my retainers] and I swear I couldn't even breathe without crying. Get some rest. Good night.

    P.S Do you have a fb?! Find me if you do. Jessica Espin Jonesco :)

    Afternoon Sun

  2. Although I'm not sick, and my tooth doesn't hurt....I feel like we're in the same boat. I wish I had some wonderful encouraging words to help you feel better, but I don't even know what to tell myself.

    Just know that you aren't alone. God is good and he'll never give you more than you can handle. I know its hard to wait on him...especially if your like me and your patience has worn thin. He has perfect timing though. Just remember that and keep your head up!

  3. There have been plenty of days that I have felt like this! Chin up :)

  4. Thanks for the encouragement girls! Today is going much better and I probably just needed some sleep =]

    Jessica-Evan and I are fine. I think he's the only stable person/relationship I have. My tooth is much better today because I took some advil but I'm keeping your advice for the medicine. My teeth don't handle whitening either and I can imagine your pain! =[

    Sabe- I'm glad were going through the same thing because I wouldn't make it without support. Know I'm here for you if you need anything =]

    Dani-i think its being a girl. Stupid hormones.

  5. I've felt like this too lately ma'am :( and it sucks. And I'm sorry you're going through it. And if you figure out how to make the stress go away or lessen, let me know. I used to be a lot better with stress...then again I didn't have to worry about being an adult then either...dumb Peter Pan complex...

    Also, I had the same prob with my tonsils and I couldn't talk for like...two weeks and all I could afford was same day as well. I saw two different doctors, got two diff possible diagnoses and both weren't any help whatsoever. My throat still starts hurting when I don't get enough sleep or have been talking too much and often causes my colds...I will go with you to punch people. Just give me a time and place.

  6. Let's go beat some people up Ash. I think some people need a good punch.