Friday, February 25, 2011

When I was 19 I had my first mid life crisis. I had like 180 panic attacks in a row about what I was going to be when I grew up. It wasn't even a big deal. I was freaking 19-years-old. I should have punched the advisers in the face for forcing me to pick a major and then screwing it up 9 times. But I didn't. Instead, I let myself get super stressed about what job I would find with this major as apposed to that. I had coffee with so many different people whom I respected wholeheartedly because I needed someone to give me step-by-step instructions on where my life was going.

And no one freaking did.

And so now, this is me, repeating history. This is me with a college degree in a job that doesn't use it, not making enough money, and freaking out about what I want to be when I grow up. Which turns out, is tomorrow.

The other night when I was having a moment, Evan said to me, "It's going to be okay. Whatever you do, whatever we do, it's going to be okay." And I kept waiting for the "And this is what you're going to do: _________" Because that's all that I wanted to hear. And it never came. And it angers me that no one will co-manage my life for me right now.

But guess what?! Ethiopia: October 15-29. But I'm going for longer. Seriously, this time. The trips keep getting shorter, and I'm not going to travel for 3+ days and hang out with my kiddos for like 2. I am so stinkin' excited I could scream.


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