Tuesday, September 30, 2014

9/12 (a year of dates)

You guys? I'm going to be honest here for a second. September has been a rough month in our household. I think just trying to get back into real life after being gone every weekend in August and dealing with a sick husband and sick baby and swabbing my throat with clove oil every five minutes to keep myself from getting sick has just finally caught up with us. Evan and I have struggled to get on the same page this month and football has started and we're taking a class on Wednesday nights which leaves us literally one night a week to spend together and we have every Saturday booked with at least one photoshoot for the next few weeks and life is busy and I sound like I'm whining so I will stop there. It's just hard sometimes to really connect when you're trying to connect around all these different activities you've signed yourselves up for and sometimes you can really feel like you've been pushed into the backseat or maybe even the trunk space of life when it comes to your marriage. And maybe it took two really big fights to really see the toll the not putting each other first, before anything else, has taken on our marriage this month. We're not signing ourselves up for counseling or anything but we've cried and we've yelled and I've maybe sent some pretty passive aggressive texts in Evan's general direction.

And so we needed a casual and laid-back date night to just regroup and talk and laugh and just let go of all of the things we've been holding on to. So, we went for sushi at our favorite restaurant. I put on red lipstick and wore my favorite heels. I busted out one of my favorite shirts that everyone asks about because everyone thinks that those are drumsticks but really they're birds (same thing basically). We ate sushi and dated each other and then we went for beers at our favorite brewery and talked and it felt like I had been holding my breath for weeks and weeks and weeks and it felt like I finally stopped holding my breath and relaxed and things started to be normal again.

I could probably just write this blog and pretend like everything is rainbows and unicorns over here. But, if there's one thing that I'm a big, huge proponent of, it's a healthy marriage. I believe in never talking trash about Evan. Even when I'm furious at him. Even when it would be easy to put the blame on him and complain to my friends. I have just vowed to never involve other people in our problems. I've vowed to love him unconditionally and that means even when he's being a butthead. He might be a butthead but he's my butthead and I'll love him through it.

After our date I really feel like we're starting fresh for the month of October. I love doing life with this guy. Even through the crappy months and the stressful months and the months when I look back and see only a handful of good days. I know what comes after those months and I know how good this life is and that makes the bad months seem not so bad.

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