5/12 (a year of dates)

Evan and I did a little bit lot of dating this weekend. We attended a "no babies allowed" wedding on Saturday (which was strangely quiet and pretty okay even though we left early because we are apparently 90.) and had a real date just the two of us on Sunday. It was a lot of time without Maddox which is not how I like to spend my weekends (since those are Evan's for sure days off) but it was fun to remember what life used to be like before there was ever a Maddox. But I like this life better. ;]

So, we did some midday dating. We dropped the babe off at Grandpa and Grandma's and picked up some lunch for us and found a quiet spot in the sun in a park and ate and talked. The park overlooks our entire city and we stood on the edge of some crazy big rocks (that are actually falling off and blocking roads and it's bad news bears for people below) and scouted out all the cool places where we could take pictures.

And then because I had my camera along and we had a little bit of time to kill before we had to go back and pick up Maddox, we drove out to the river (which is seriously about to overflow and flood the world, BTW. Scary.) and took pictures at a mosquito-ridden park. Evan and I haven't taken pictures of just us since before Maddox was born. I obviously love having pictures of all of us but it was so much fun to have baby-free arms and pictures of just Evan and I. We also took a couple of headshots for our business because I'm starting a fun photography project and wanted to include us in that, too. (Not pictured. Yet. haha)

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For Mother's Day my brother found my mom an old window and had me transfer some photos of the four of us (us + him) to the panes. We gave it to our mom and she loved the heck out of it and I had so much fun making it because I loooove arts and crafts and also picture transferring.

But the point is not that.

The point is that we took some pictures of the four of us to use on the window and my brother snapped these gems of my sweet little family. I like these guys.

And my brother for being behind the camera for a minute. And also the sun for being pretty in the middle of the day. And Maddox for being extra cute.

If I ever won an award that required an acceptance speech, you guys know my speech would be the best in the whole world, like, ever.

Send help

I have found a new crafting addiction: zippered pouches. I have wanted to make my own little pouch for so long but have been a) intimidated by sewing a zipper and b) too lazy to deconstruct a pouch to figure out a pattern. Then I remembered that Pinterest is a thing and there are a million tutorials for how to go about making yourself a zippered pouch.

And so I bought myself some fabric and made myself up two pouches. And then I made a few more. And then I made four more. And then I made another.

If you're counting, that is ten pouches in one week. Evan wants to set up an intervention for me. The other night at like 10 pm I said, "I wish I had some zippers right now. I want to make a pouch." TEN PM. Girlfriend, no. Go to bed.

A girl only needs so many pouches. I've already dubbed one as the dipes & wipes pouch for my purse. Another holds all of my oils and random health things I take with me everywhere. Another is for my lipstick and tiny essentials. Evan looked in my purse and told me that I do not in fact need a zippered pouch for everything in my purse. Oh. BUT I DO.

My obvious next step is to make some for all of my friends and then make some more and sell them. The one below is my favorite so far. The polka dots just about kill me and that yellow zipper and then surprise! more polka dots inside. I used to carry this little lipstick pouch with llamas on it (I called it Tina, for obvious reasons.) and now I carry this adorable pouch instead. I haven't shown it to very many people because I made pouches for my mom and mother-in-law for Mother's Day out of the flower fabric and so it has to be a surprise for a minute longer. BUT. When people do start seeing this pouch and they're like, "Where did you get such a cute pouch?" I get to say, "I MADE THIS." High fives all around.

Maddox Currently

Since I'm not continuing the "Love, Mama" series, I wanted to keep up with all the new things that this crazy boy does. I think I shall write little update/currently posts here and there when Maddox hits a new milestone or when I have something amazing to share because obviously he is the most amazing child ever (said every mom ever).

Currently, Maddox is 13 and a half months and he is...

Walking. Oh yes. OH. YES. Walking! It's crazy. He had been taking steps here and there but very, very sparingly. He was an illusive walker, almost as illusive as the Loch Ness Monster. Almost. But then we realized that if we stood him in front of our french doors and he could see outside and see the dog or the cat he would take two or three or four steps. And so for days we would practice that and then one day he just decided that he would go for it away from the door. Evan and I were both home and that was really great because I wanted Evan to definitely experience that first-hand and not through a text or video. So, Maddox walked around and it looked sort of like a drunk baby for the first little while but he's gotten so much better and we're just now coming up on two weeks of walking. He hasn't learned how to stand himself back up unless he's near something he can climb up on, so he still crawls a little bit. I'm mostly just thankful because let me tell you how many pairs of pants with in tact knees he still has: NONE.

Drinking almond milk. On his birthday we started giving him whole milk and he would throw his sippy cup like I was actually giving him liquid rat poison instead. I wasn't. We tried it warm, steamed, cold, in a bottle, in a sippy, through a straw, in a glass. He wanted nothing to do with it so we were basically feeding him dairy in cheese and yogurt (and maybe a little ice cream, too) form. And then our pediatrician told us that almond milk is okay for him to have (plus it tastes like a million times better AND has more calcium than milk) and so he's been drinking that instead. I have tried to introduce cow's milk just about every week and he still thinks it is the grossest thing in the world. So do I, so I could care less if he likes it or not, knowing that I wouldn't drink that vile stuff either.

Sharing. Okay, this has got to be the cutest thing I've ever seen. Maddox's new thing is to share with us. He will pick something up and then hand it to us and then go get something else and bring it to us and play this all day, every day. He's really into sharing his food and/or snacks with our dog or us and if we're in public and he has snacks, he's trying to pass them out to every person we see. He also really loves to share the food that he's already half-eaten and Evan and I have actually been christened as saints for the amount of soggy, half-eaten food that we have consumed because Maddox has forcefully shoved soggy nilla wafers and cheddar bunnies and things of that sort into our face and mouth areas.

Is really into helping. Maddox really loves to "help" me do anything. He loves to sit on the dishwasher door while I'm putting away the dishes. He loves to push all the buttons on the washer and dryer to start the loads of laundry. He loves to turn off the light switches we we leave a room. He loves to pull anything and everything out of the fridge and bring it to me while we cook dinner. He loves to push the microwave buttons and the timer button on the stove. He loves to rearrange all the spices in my lazy susan and sometimes get the lid off of the cooking spray and spray that all over the floor. He's the most helpful.

Saying words. Maddox says "mama," (about everything but mostly Evan and I), "dis" and "dat" (this or that), "TT" (kitty),  "D!" (dog), "nana," (whatever it is that I have that he wants). He points to everything and will even point to another room if something he wants is not in this room. He's always pointing to the things he wants and says, "Dis! Dis! Dis!" He mostly just babbles on about everything but there are sometimes a few discernible noises in there. We're still working on the fact that Evan is not "mama" but whenever Evan comes into a room or leaves a room, Maddox shouts, "MAMA! MAMA!" while pointing at Evan. Like I said, we're working on it.

Motherhood//mother's day

The best part of me lies in a white slatted crib one room over. I tip toe through the house and try to contain myself to one room to not disturb him. They tell you to not do that. They tell you that if you're quiet then babies will be sensitive to noise and be horrible sleepers. They tell you a lot of things, a lot of things that can make you feel bad about yourself if you're not careful about it. They tell you not to rock them to sleep because then they become dependent on you to fall asleep. They don't tell you that the amount of time that they will let you rock them to sleep is faster than an infant's heartbeat and if you don't rock them to sleep then you will wonder where those naps and nights went and you'll be left with thirty one inches of baby who prefers sprawling out to cuddling close. (Good thing I rocked him to sleep all of those times.) And they'll tell you to never wake a sleeping baby but your husband will tell you that there is nothing more important than cuddling your baby at any time of the night. And that is why he will sometimes wake up to find me tip toeing into the nursery and carefully pulling the sleeping baby from the tangle of blankets and into my arms and wrapping myself around him in the rocking chair while I just hold his sleep warmed body for a few extra minutes.

The only truths they'll tell you is how you'll never be prepared for this. I stopped listening to their advice when I realized that I had a mother's intuition. I had this burning inside of me that woke me up to listen to Maddox's breathing as he coocooned himself in his swaddle. I felt it when he was a few days old and I couldn't bear to put him down for even a heartbeat. I feel it in the last moments of his nap when I feel him stirring and then sure enough he calls for me and cries until I carefully open the door of his room and see a standing boy reaching out his arms for his mama.

They were right. There isn't anything that could prepare me for those moments or the ones to come. They say that a child is your heart beating outside your body and they are right. I've experienced the unconditional love that comes with your flesh and blood and the pure thankfulness and joy that accompanies every smile, every laugh, every hug and every open-mouth kiss. I've experienced it and if they are only right about one thing, they were right about that.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mama's. May you feel loved and appreciated and cared for today and every day.

26

Today is my 26th birthday. Twenty six. Here's something about me: A few weeks before my actual birthday I start saying that I'm my new age. (Like when I was 24 turning 25, I would just stop saying I was 24.) You know, to like test out my new age. See how it felt.

And I didn't do that with 26. A) My birthday totally snuck up on me this year because it was just New Years Eve. JUST. and B) I think I don't want to be 26. Twenty six sounds so old to me. Like 25 is the last year that you can really be excited about being. Whoo! You can finally rent a car! Whoo! Car insurance goes down! Whoo! Quarter of a century!

......and then 26. Such a downer age. Like, "GLAD YOU HAD FUN BEING TWENTY FIVE BECAUSE NOW YOU ARE ONLY FOUR YEARS AWAY FROM THIRTY, YA OLD MAID."

I don't know how turning 26 suddenly makes me feel old and grown up because my car is paid off, I own my home, I have a Bachelor's degree and have completed a semester of grad school. I have a child and my own business. I am married and this list of accomplishments is obviously in no real order.

So, 26. Whatcha got for me? Hopefully only good things. Because my 25th year was definitely my best yet and so 26 has big shoes to fill. But also I'm probably going to just say that I'm 25 for the rest of my life. Because I look like I'm 16 so that should fly for a while.

Twenty six did get a running start into greatness though. I spent the day with my loves having lunch at my most favorite restaurant of all time; we went to our little mountain town and had beers at one of the best ale houses; we stuck our feet in a creek and we had dinner as a family.

I did shatter my iPhone screen like a total loser, though. Maddox plays with that thing and throws it around like it ain't no thang but apparently if I drop it from a foot off the ground it rebels and shatters. Oh well. I'm letting it go because I definitely was speeding in front of a cop (like, real bad) and he did not pull me over and so I feel like the Universe and I, we're sort of even steven. But that happened on my last day of being 25, so I feel like 26 can only go up from there.