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Ah, the great Throat of Death Sickness of 2014. I swear. Everyone and their mother has gone through this, have they not? If you haven't, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE. For the rest of the winter, do not go outside; do not interact with anyone. ANYONE.

It is literally the exact same thing as not knowing who the heck is a Joe Carroll Follower. ANYONE could be carrying this vile disease around in their pocket just waiting to cough in your general direction and BAM. You're minding your own business in the Target baby section and then suddenly your throat feels like your swallowing glass shards. (Just like how I was convinced that every single person in Season One of The Following was a Joe Carroll Follower and I could hardly watch the first season because terrifying.)

It's like that guys. Like that.

I mostly am a no-medicine-type-of-girl. It's pretty bad now that I'm nursing Maddox and terrified that something that I put in my body could end up in his and potentially hurt him. So instead I suffer through it and lay under a pile of homemade rice packs that are approximately 900 billion degrees because Evan warms them up for like 15 minutes. And I gargle with apple cider vinegar, which is my favorite thing on the planet but is so, so sour that it almost kills me but is seriously one million times better than gargling with warm salt water.

Anyway. I gave up. I got approximately five minutes of sleep in the past two nights. I've always been able to sleep like I'm dead when I'm sick. But apparently being pregnant changed that? I'm blaming it on pregnancy because I will write a post on the things that pregnancy did to me. WILD. It's wild.

This is the most random nonsensical blog ever. I am sorry.

BUT SO. I couldn't sleep. And I cried this morning. (That's how you know it's bad. That and when I'm considering performing surgery to remove my throat.) I cried because my amazing husband took yesterday off of work to be with Maddox so I could rest. And then today he had to go back to work and how the heck are you supposed to wrangle a wild 10.99999-month-old baby who is obsessed with the toilet and the light on the front of the dishwasher? I just didn't have the energy to chase him around and entertain him and try and get him to take two really, really good naps just so I could take two really, really good naps. And I cried because a day of rest did really nothing for me because on Day Two of the Throat of Death Sickness of 2014, I still felt like death. And that's worth crying over.

And so my amazing husband not only took me to the hospital and entertained Maddox while a nurse gagged me with a q-tip and a doctor kept calling me pregnant even though she meant nursing ("I'll see if that's okay to take while you're pregnant. I mean nursing." "You can take this if you're pregnant.") [and also maybe wasn't a real doctor because she said, "It's not swollen. It's just raw and inflamed." Oh, okay.] But he also took today off of work to chase around a crazy baby and let me sleep while my drugs kicked in.

And so now my throat only hurts a little. My ears still are achy but they feel less like they're being stabbed and more like they're just sore from being stabbed. Being sick is the worst.

We accidentally gave ourselves a four-day-weekend with this shiz. But next weekend is an actual four-day-weekend because of our very, very, very first wedding! Which is also reason number two why I forced myself to brave the walk-in clinic and take the disgusting horse pills.

I foresee coffee dates and pictures and dressing up and lipstick in my immediate future.