Eleven months//Dear Maddox

Dear Maddox,

Well, little love, here we are in the final countdown to your one-year birthday. These eleven months have sped right along and I'm sure the months will continue to fly past us until you are suddenly a teenager and then an adult and all the while I'll still be remembering what it felt like to hold your warm little body in my arms as I rocked you to sleep. Thank goodness for memories. Those things are saving my life.

You are rambunctious and wild and always on the move. You are never still for more than a second and that is obvious as I look at the toys strewn from one end of the living room to the other. You love when we chase you and the moment we sit down and get comfortable, you take off and squeal as we run behind you and scoop you up. You're incredibly fast and proficient at getting under the chairs and through small spaces. You taught yourself to climb the stairs in our family room and can sometimes go back down. Mostly you love to just climb up the stairs and then bang on the glass doors that lead back into the house. But you do really love to climb the stairs.

Your current favorite toy on the planet is anything with a light on it. Examples: The light on the dishwasher when it's running; the light on the stove when we're cooking; the light on the space heater; actual lights, et cetera. Anything with a light is your new best friend and you point and point until we acknowledge that yes, that is a light.

You love to point things out to us. If we ask you were something is, you look around the room searching for that thing until you find it. Then you squeal with delight and point and squirm out of our arms to go and touch whatever it is that you've just discovered. You love to point out the puppy and anything with a baby on it. Lights, too, obviously and also the windows.

You have four official teeth at this stage; and the cutest little gap in your top two. You absolutely hate when I try to look at them and you clamp your mouth shut and shake your head until I finally stop prying your mouth open. And these teeth have brought a very fun stage of eating to our meal times. You are officially over being fed and you much prefer finger food and feeding yourself. You love chicken and tuna but you didn't really like beef. Your absolute favorite food is mac and cheese and we make this for you several times a week. You had a bit of a growth spurt/teething episode where you didn't want to eat a thing and so we gave you whatever you wanted for a few days just to keep something in your belly. Whatever you wanted happened to be shredded cheese and bananas, but only if you can eat the banana like an adult. Meal times are mostly easier now that you can mostly eat what we eat, with a few modifications.

A few weeks ago when I was putting you to sleep, you were laying across my lap nursing and I was so amazed at how big you are. You were this tiny little infant who fit between my arms and hardly took up any space on my lap. Now you are practically a toddler. Your arms and legs sprawl across me and the rocking chair and I swear I can see them growing if I look hard enough. You don't love to cuddle and you would definitely rather be on the floor and go, go, going instead of on our laps; so when you do fall asleep in my arms, I stay there for as long as I possibly can.

You have managed to flip my entire world upside down and inside out, Maddox Oliver. Every single day is a new adventure with you. You are constantly learning something new (like how you can sign "all done" when you're finished eating) and showing off everything you know. You make us laugh until tears stream down our faces and we can tell that this makes you so happy. You are so easy to love and you have brought us so much joy and happiness. We are so thankful for these eleven months, where we learned so much about what being a mama and daddy really means. You have taught us about love and forgiveness and you have made us the happiest people on this planet. There are no words to properly describe the love that we have for you, but I hope that you know it when you see us smile at you and play peek-a-boo and kiss your soft little head. I hope that even though you won't remember these moments, that somewhere in your heart you will know that you were loved far more than I ever thought I could love another human being, every single moment of every day of your life. You are the best part of me and I hope that I'm doing this right.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Mama