Wednesday, February 12, 2014

1/12 (a year of dates)

Having a baby and dating your husband is hard. There are baby sitters that need to be arranged and food to be prepared and naps to schedule around. There's a strict 7pm bed time (baby's rule, not mine) and a specific place where Maddox likes to sleep (his bed and only his bed).

It's not like we don't want to go out and hang out together. It's just that we rarely have time to do it with of busy, busy schedules. When we have free time, pretty much the last thing I want to do is spend 20 minutes combing the rat's nest out of my dreadlocks hair and trying to remember my makeup routine.

[Okay, it's not that bad. I try to be presentable a few times a week.]

But seriously. I am so pooped chasing around a very active and slightly ADD (in the best way//with his toys) ten-month-old. When Evan gets home from work I want to sit on the couch and do absolutely nothing. I want Evan to roll around on the floor with Maddox for a few minutes and to work on his arm muscles, lifting and tossing a not-so-light baby into the air and then again when he opens and closes his hands and reaches for the ceiling (which means again).

On another note, I don't really like to be away from Maddox. I love dating Evan. I love going to restaurants and doing things that we couldn't or wouldn't do with Maddox en tow. I love that. But I miss my baby when he's gone. Gosh, I miss him when he's 20 feet from me just taking a nap.

But it's not good for my marriage or my relationship with Evan to say, "I can't date you because I don't want to be away from my son." Or, "I can't date you because I can't get a brush through my hair so let's just order pizza and call it a night, k? Good date, babe. Same time next week?"

Not good at all.

So, we're hopping on the "12 months of dates" wagon this year and making dating a priority. And this is weird to me because before Maddox I was all about the dates. I mean, Evan and I dated each other like we had all the time in the world. Which, basically we did. And then Maddox happened and it was easier to do date night on the couch in PJs than it was to check off a list of 30 things to do before we could take Maddox somewhere else and go out by ourselves.

For Pete's sake, our first date after Maddox was born was on our anniversary, three and a half months after Maddox was born.

I'm one of those moms.

But I'm not going to be one of those wives.

And so. Evan and I are dating this year. Putting a high priority on dates and dating. And we're not just dating when the date rolls around but making each other a priority in the midst of life and work and Maddox and photoshoots and volunteering. Because those are the things that our lives consist of and I'm fairly certain that if we put zero effort into each other, we probably wouldn't see each other for a month. We're busy. And also tired.

But anyway. Our first date was last month and in true Larissa fashion I'm just now getting around to it. We dropped Maddox off with G + G and went to Catching Fire. I even wore a purse! (But only to sneak candy and drinks into the theatre.) I'm not really a movie person and so this will probably be our only movie date. We're planning on switching off on the planning and so I'm covering this month's and Evan will do March. And so on. I'm pretty excited to see how creative he gets because remember that one time at Christmas when he surprised me with ice skating? YES. THAT. Except for I'm pretty creative, too, so it might be a little competitive and it will. be. awesome.

5 loves:

  1. Gah, you crazy girl. Most us mamas are right there with you. Sean's parents travel and mine are not very closely... friends have their own kiddos! So, date night is VERY few and far between for us. We both end up saying, "We miss our babes..." while at dinner or wherever. I hear you. You are not alone. Good for you guys. Etc. etc. ;)

    1. I feel you! We're lucky to have both our parents here and lots of family and friends who want to be in line to watch Maddox. But seriously. Halfway through dinner and I'm ready to get back to him for sure.

  2. Loved this post.
    I'm glad that you two will be doing a year of dates. That sounds fun!

    1. Thank you! I hope that it's lots of fun! There aren't a ton of different things to do around here so we'll have to get really creative but that's part of the fun, too!