three months//dear maddox

dear maddox,

well, here you are, three months old already. you've officially entered the "--months old" instead of "--weeks old" world. i was dreading that moment. but here it is. and if there's one thing that's been drilled into my head these past 3 months 12 weeks, it's that time hates me and also i hate it back.

i remember wishing that the newborn stage would last forever and ever amen because cuddling with you and holding you 24/7 was my very favorite. but each new stage we come upon is better than the last. i do miss those newborn cuddles, though. three months and you are already becoming independent. you like to be put down when you're sleeping. long gone are the days of sleeping on our shoulders, but i cherish the moments when you do fall asleep there as i rub your back and sing to you.

you're a character. you are. you love to laugh and smile at us and you're finding your sweet little voice and you tell us stories all day long. i love to soak up those little giggles and chatters. you're gonna be a talker, just like your daddy. my favorite noise you make is this little squawk. you scrunch up your arms and legs and hold your hands over your mouth in this coy and shy little way and give us the biggest smile we've ever seen. you now have two dimples, but the second one is so little and tiny. you're going to have the best laugh when it comes. but for now, these little giggles melt me into a puddle.

it has been so much fun to watch you change and grow. to see your little personality appear and to watch you be so much more aware of the people and happenings around you.

you have the deepest blue eyes. they're so gorgeous. those blues, they follow us everywhere. this morning your daddy and i brought your rock 'n play into the dining room while we ate breakfast. you were on the other side of the room chattering away and your daddy stood up and called to you and from across the room you recognized him and smiled that big, gummy smile and stared at him as he made his way to you. you are so aware now.

you're so aware and you've become a little mimicker. it started last month with your tongue when you'd stick it out at us until we'd stick ours back out at you. we'd play this game constantly and you love when we show you our tongues. but the first time we blew raspberries with our tongues, you gave us the most concerned face because what the heck was that?! and now you've started doing that, too. you can also make the "brrr" sound with your lips and love when we do that back to you.

the only sound you're not a fan of is sneezing. sneezes make you cry. especially if you're eating. you just don't like those sudden sounds.

it is so much fun to watch you hit these mini milestones. you've also learned that you can grab ahold of things. of course, you've been pulling my hair since day one (which by the way, is in full on postpartum hair loss mode so it no longer needs help falling out so you can stop pulling it out if you want) but now you hold your rattle and ball and most importantly, your lovie. you rub your eyes when you are tired, which is just about the cutest thing ever (who am i kidding, everything you do is the cutest ever). you get a bath every day now because you are a boy and sometimes you stink. you can't help it. i think you do it because bath time is your favorite in all the land. you still get baths in your little tub but you've learned the art of splashing and so my bathroom gets a good cleaning every single day. (i suppose i owe you a thank you for that.) we've taken you in the shower a couple of times but you're not too sure about that. plus also you're slippery and that's scary.

you have definitely welcomed us into parenthood with some pretty epic diaper blowouts. there was about a week straight where every poopy diaper resulted in a pretty clean diaper and a pretty messy boy slash outfit. that is definitely the opposite of how it should be. you defy the laws of gravity and physics with your diapers, kid. we have learned at that first sound to stand you up until you're finished. you squat and bend forward and stick your bottom out and it's pretty much the cutest grossest thing. at the same time.

dear baby, you are so loved. i am so thankful that we have so many people to surround us and you and love on you. i mean, your mama and daddy love you past the moon and the stars forever and ever and after, but do you know how many other people love you just as much?

right after your two month birthday your daddy and i packed up all of your newborn outfits. i lie. he packed them up and then i snuck into the box later on and pulled out a few that i wasn't quite done with. one was your going home outfit (it says best friends. i mean. you're my best friend. you had to wear it one more time.) and the other said "mommy loves me." so. you are much too long for new born clothes with feet. you were 24 inches long at your two month appointment, and according to your doctor, that puts you in the 90th percentile. which is no surprise to us because your daddy is 6 foot 3. but you're skinny so you still fit into everything newborn. (yes, still. even at three months. [hooray says the mom who isn't ready to have a 3 month old yet!])

people ask me all the time how being a mom is. i tell them how much i love it, how much i love spending my days with you and how blessed i am. because it's true. you hold my heart in your tiny little clenched fists (along with a few pieces of my hair probably) and i'm wrapped around your finger. you changed my world and i can't remember how life was without you. i'm so proud to be your mama and to do life with you in my arms.

i love you,
mama