Sunday, May 20, 2012

things you should know if we're gonna be BFF

i drink pickle juice like it's part of my religion. like, i'd rather drink the juice than eat a pickle. also, i'm a pickle snob and i will only eat claussen.

i snort when i laugh. which in turn makes me laugh harder.



do not even talk about PB&J around me or i will stab you with a fork.

i will force you to watch grey's anatomy and yes it is real life. also jersey shore. also dexter. also mcdreamy. ALSOCANWETALKABOUTGREY'SSEASONFINALEWTF.

i cannot hold a conversation with you without quoting the office, family guy, arrested development, shit girls say, shit black girls say, shit nobody says, neature adventures, tracy, can i get your number, and any and all youtube sensations (backin up, hide yo kids hide yo wife), etc. and i also have a southern accent. so.

you will never, ever hear me say, "flowers are a stupid gift because they will just die." I. LOVE. FLOWERS. ship away.



you should hear my impersonation of tina fey in date night: UM THAT'S AMAZING, JEREMY, BUT I'M GONNA GO HOME AND FART IN A SHOE BOX.

i am well aware that my kitchen is more of a dance floor than a room to cook in. and music is meant to be listened to at an ear shattering volume. and windows are meant to be open. and curling irons are meant to be microphones. and you are meant to embarrass yourself in front of your neighbors while you dance your night away.


you had better get used to saying to me, "let me fix that part in your bangs." otherwise, we cannot be friends.

you should probably read these books. it will strengthen our friendship: Philippians. The Murderer's Daughters. Up from the Blue. The Fault in Our Stars. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? [and other concerns]. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. No One Belongs Here More Than You.



i love you already, bff.


42 loves:

  1. xoxoxoxoxo
    I heart you. You can fix my bangs any time. I'll probably just slap your hand out of the way and say, "Get that corn outta my face.." cause I practically only speak in Nacho Libre script. True story.

    Janette the Jongleur

    PS. When can we be BFFs? Monday good?
    PPS.If we get BFF necklaces you wanna get the one with "BE FRI" OR "ST ENDS"? (You know the heart shaped necklaces that when you put them together say "BEST FRIENDS"?? Haha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i heart you, janette. <3 xoxox

      um. you need to fix MY bangs. i'm fairly certain yours are always perfect.

      monday sounds good to me. can i please be "BE FRI" on our necklaces? thanks.

      Delete
    2. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA Be fri!? Are you sure!??? Alrighty. Sounds good.


      xoxox,
      St Ends

      Delete
  2. SHUT UP. Nobody else can read this but me. Kick them all out of here!!! Also, uh, LOVE YOUR NEW BLOG DESIGN. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Should I retitle this to "what you should know if you want to be my BFF after Cara Lynn Jane" ??? Hahaha

      Delete
  3. You are the cutest. Grey's... uhhhhhh. I don't know if I even have words for the season finally yet. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is one of my favorite books. (before the movie.. which i haven't seen) and I about to start reading Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? Excited!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Me either. I'm so angry because I thought I knew who was going to die and then no. Wrong. Also I love Christina. When she tells Arizona to shut up. Love. Lovelovelove her she cannot go to Minnesota I will go track her down and bring her back. That show. Seriously, my life. I've never seen the movie of that book, either. I heard it sucks. The book is SOOO good. I'll prob never watch it because movies are never as good as the book. YOU WILL LOVE MINDY KALLING. I DID AND I SWEAR SHE IS MY LONG LOST BFF.

      Delete
  4. duUUUUUUUUUUdddddeeeeeeeeeeee ok you have no idea. me and my friends quote pretty much everything you quote in every single conversation we have. no joke. you'd fit in perfectly here. hence why we are LDBFF (long distance bffs)

    and I can't believe you have seen Date Night, let alone quote it! hahaha that's my all time favorite line from that movie. "uhhh that's amazing jeremy, but I'm going to go home now and look at my vagina with a hand mirror."
    Too. Funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! I love you for this! The outtakes in that movie were SO funny! Can you imagine being so funny that you don't need a script?! Um. Yeah. I want to watch that movie now.

      Also, yesssss LDBFF! Love it.

      Delete
  5. wait, so much in this post to comment on.
    pickle juice? never tried it. now i must.
    snorting? i do that.
    greys anatomy? when did sloan's hair turn BROWN?
    i am confused.
    x Jes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pickle juice. Go! Now! Haha
      My laugh is out of control. I snorted in front of my boss today and I think it's time to reign it in a lil bit. HahahaSNORT! ;]
      Also. Yes. That whole episode was shot in the weirdest color. Also, when he almost died, pre-chest tube from the perfume bottle (um. No.) I was like, he is gray. Someone fix him! That show is so brutal!

      Delete
  6. 1) I'm gagging a little about the pickle juice.
    2) What happened between you and PB&J??
    3) YOU'RE AWESOME.
    4) I'm going to read these books! And if they stink, I'm coming after you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1) no you're not! Don't lie! Go try it and come back and thank me =] it's so yummy!
      2) I HATEEE LOATHE DESPISE pb&j. Oh my gosh. I used to pretend I was allergic to peanuts so my friends' parents wouldn't feed it to me. I tried it FOR THE FIRST TIME on new years. And it was the grossest thing I've ever put in my mouth. (and I've eaten a lot of weird shit.)
      3) YOU ARE AWESOME! YOU.
      4) I would not lie to you. But you're a writer, so now I'm kind of worried. ;]

      Delete
  7. this was the cutest thing i've read all day.

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  8. larissa, you're hilarious and i love it.
    so i love eating pickles but have never tried pickle juice. i'm gonna try this !!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have a lot to work on. I can not tell a lie. I like sweet and dill pickles. Shoot me ok?
    ThisismenottalkingaboutPB&J. Ok?
    I need to catch up on Grey's. I feel lost.
    Kitchens should be designed as dance floors to begin with. Like I needs a smoke machine and a disco ball for realz.
    I'm gonna go look up all those books now.
    Don't shoot me. ;)

    Also NEW BLOG URL!!!
    A Girl Called Beloved

    :) :) :) !!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're my favorite. I'm going to punch you because you asked me not to. ;]
      PB&J AND SWEET PICKLES ARE GROSS! Ok?! My mom bought spicy cluassens the other day and I almost died. Possibly the spiciest food I've ever had. And gross.

      I'm so excited for your blog! I see good things in its future!

      And please catch up on Greys?! Pretty please?! You don't know what you're missing!!!!

      Delete
  10. ALSOCANWETALKABOUTGREY'SSEASONFINALEWTF.

    yes, yes we can. I was underwhelmed and also, bored? Didn't Derek already hurt his hand like 18 seasons ago?

    I still love Grey's though, trust me. BUT DID YANG SERIOUSLY STAB THE PILOT'S LEG WITH A PEN JUST FOR FUN?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THAT PART. Yes she did. I love her so much. I want to kidnap her. My mom works in the heart surgery OR and yang could be a heart dr here and her and my mom could be BFF and I would also be her BFF and it would be the best. And if Merideth came I would tell her to never, ever cry. She's horrible at it.

      Also. Derek is hot so he can hurt his hand and I will fix it.

      I'm so glad you watch this show. So glad.

      Delete
  11. Larissa, this makes me wish even more that we lived closer together, or at least in the same state.

    You sound like someone that I would love, love, love to hangout with you.

    I think it's pretty awesome that you drink pickle juice, even though I never have.

    I will call you Ms. Pickles from now on. Hah.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bahahaha oh my gosh I just love you.

      WE NEED TO HANG OUT! We'll drink pickle juice and eat chips in milk or whatever it is you do. ;]

      Delete
  12. This is such a cool post. Like Danielle, I would very much want to hang out with you, or at least get to know you.

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. HOW DO I FOLLOW YOUR BLOG IM OBSESSED!! i drink pickle juice too and everyone thinks im weird! i throw a straw in that shiz and it's so freaking good.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Aren't you the sweetest thing?! You can follow my blog through blog lovin if you have an account there or through GFC. =]

      You are the only person who drinks pickle juice! Srsly. And with a straw. Brilliant. ISN'T IT THE BEST THING EVER?!

      Delete
  14. aw, i'm so sad that i stopped watching grey's anatomy after they killed off izzie. i feel like i've missed so much! and i miss all the drama with meredith and mcdreamy! ahh!
    xo TJ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Technically I don't think she died! I think she ran away. Girl, that was like 10 years ago. So much has happened! Hahaha it's my favorite show. All the drama. So good!

      Delete
  15. Best post ever. omg. You are hilarious, girl. The bangs part? SO with you.
    following you, OBVIOUSLY. New fave!

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks doll! My bangs and I do not get along. They do not behave and are usually in time out.

      Delete
  16. You make me laugh. This is AWESOME!!!
    I will totally sit and watch Dexter with you ALL DAY LONG. LOVE!!!
    And you pics? Fab-U-lous. Especially the one of you dancing. So cute!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CAN WE PLEASE!

      CAN YOU MAKE A PIT STOP IN MT ON YOUR WAY TO CALI!? pretty. pretty. pretty please?

      i want to rewatch all of dexter and evan is not on board with that. he's out of his mind. DO YOU KNOW HOW INSANE IT WOULD BE?!

      Delete
    2. I so want to make a Montana pit stop!!!! AH!! That would be crazy! I don't know if Chris's company would fit it in our agenda . . . but Chris keeps saying he wants to drive . . . and, really it's not THAT far off the southern path we were going to take, right ;] But, seriously, if I could, I totally would in a heartbeat, no doubt. This must be part of some plan in the future . . . somehow . . .
      And Dexter would totally be a must. Do you know that I haven't watched after . . . oh golly, was it season four or five?? With the Trinity Killer? SO BEHIND. This is not ok.
      husbands are such silly people. I keep trying to get Chris into Dexter, too, but he just hasn't bitten yet.

      Delete
    3. HOW DOES HE NOT WATCH DEXTER? HE IS AMERICAN, RIGHT?!

      Girl. Do yo job!

      I haven't seen the most recent season and it doesn't come out until August and I am dyinggg with anticipation. (GET IT? DYING? Kbai.) the trinity killer was 5? Maybe? Idk. THAT SEASON FINALE WAS CRAY! Who saw that coming?! Except i was glad because I hated her killer.

      Can we just have a dexter date and gush over it for like a week? I'm preparing your room in my house for when you stop in. ;]]

      Delete
  17. 1.the only kind of pickle i like is bread and butter, but i love me some pickle juice!

    2. i snort too!

    3. i dance EVERYWHERE. except in da club.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yeah, i sometimes snort when I laugh if it's really funny then that turns out really bad and embarrassing!

    ReplyDelete
  19. How about a compromise! I'll eat the pickles and you can have the juice. :)

    ReplyDelete

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