1. Whenever I use the bathroom at someone's house, I always check the shower/bathtub for various reasons. Of course I'm paranoid some freak is just hanging out in there listening to me pee because I'm paranoid about everything. But more than that, I judge you based on the condition of your shower. And mostly based on whether I would shower with or without flip flops in your shower. (I would wear shoes in 98% of America's showers probably.) (I'm afraid of germs. And everything. Don't be offended.)
2. I used to say that I was a picky eater. But as I've gotten older I've realized there aren't too many foods I won't eat. But I will not eat my food if it touches my other foods. Like mashed potatoes that get steak juices on them? No. Ew. Or when my turkey touches my cranberries? No. Ew. But I will eat mushrooms and avocados and sour cream and spinach and meat and tomatoes which is more than a lot of people. So I'm not really that picky.
3. I think I'm secretly allergic to cats and possibly dogs. But I possess both. And I also sneeze like 500 times a day when I'm at home. And my eyes itch a whole lot when I touch them. Oops. But I'm not ready to give my babies up just yet.
4. I have taught my body that I must have dessert after every meal. I will literally eat something and go into a sugar-deprived-coma if I don't get some sort of sugar coursing through my veins in 5 seconds. I have gained one inch in my hips in like a month and that is not good. No. More. Sugar! (That is a confession and a half right there, my friends. What a treat for you!)
5. Someday, I'm going to write a book but I haven't decided what I want to write about yet. I feel that nothing book-worthy enough has happened in my life. However, I am scared of writing a story and it ending up being sold at the Dollar Tree. I've also pondered a million different book ideas in my mind and every time I start a new book I feel gypped that the author totes stole that idea right out of my head.
6. When I was in Ethiopia, Evan pushed me against the window of the bus because he was being a jerk. I was so stressed out that I touched the dirty window and the curtains from 1965 that have never been washed that I started crying. Literally bawling. In the middle of our bus. In Africa. On the way to the orphanage. In front of like 20 people. I was so embarrassed that I started laughing at myself but I couldn't stop crying so I was trying to play it off like "haha that was so funny I can't stop laughing. And now I'm crying. ha. ha. ha." But I really was crying. Hard. Since then, I have laughed super, super hard which has resulted in crying more than just a few laugh tears. And at several of those happenings, I have been confused as to whether or not I am crying or laughing. And it's all Evan's fault.
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| I curled my hair all cute and junk for Valentine's Day. With my straightener. Via Ellen. |
I always peek into the shower too, but it's only to ease my mind that nobody will be jumping out to scare me mid pee. That would be so frightening. You couldn't run!
ReplyDeleteWere you afraid the curtains were diseased? I can't believe he pushed you. Wife abuser. I'm going to push him at work. When he's carrying a heavy tray. And he's in the middle of the diningroom.
When I first read this I thought you said "pee" and I was like woahwoahwoah what did I write. But then I actually read it, and okay. bahaha
ReplyDeleteYes. It would be terrifying if someone jumped out mid-pee. Gross! hahaha
I'm afraid the floor is gross and rusty or moldy and the shower curtains have never been cleaned and there is hair everywhere. Ew. haaahaha