Thursday, September 3, 2015

Embarrassing Pictures of yours truly

My mom and I went through some super great family photos because Evan and I and some friends were just discussing my childhood and I had a super great childhood complete with 80's and 90's outfits and the messiest hair anyone has ever seen. My mom told me, "I promised myself that I would take photos of you even if you didn't look that great." And then also that I have a large forehead. So, I'm very loved and also real life. Here we go.

Totes appreciate this one of my brother and I, circa 7th-8thish grade. I'm guessing because I started straightening my hair around that time but really sucked at it, as you probably can tell. My mom made me sit in front of her tulip garden every year for my birthday, which is what is happening here. Note my shirt situation in the arms, like armor but cotton. Just really great, all of it.

Ohhhkay, Miss Model, tone it down with the plastic GLUE-ON purple nails and lipstick. WHO THE WHO is letting you wear lipstick at what, 10? I mean, classic Larissa hair: Half up in a GIANT scrunchy with a bajillion flyaways and even more barretts to hold them all back. Note my mom's amazing floral couch that she got rid of and probably would go for gobs of cash today because that's the thing. I begged her for like 14-years of my life to get rid of it and now I kind of want it back.

 My mom told me it was, and I quote, "A chilly summer." I'm unsure as to why that warrants mom jeans (JORTS NO LESS) and a turtle neck on a 8-year-old. Again with the hair. Classic mess.

You're really getting the full treatment here. TWEE-TEE BIRD. Man I loved me some Tweety Bird. I don't even know why I was so obsessed with that stupid yellow bird baby thing but I was. That and Eeyore. I'm so embarrassed because now look at children's clothes in Target and Gap and there is not even a trace of Tweety Bird. Where was my mom during this awful decision making? This picture was taken on a hike (jeans are a good idea in Montana in the summer on a 5-ish mile hike to a lake, yes, good call, 10-year-old, Larissa) and I don't know what I'm carrying or why those sunglasses are a thing but also I remember I used to have an aversion to tennis shoes and here I am, hating my life in the dreaded tennis.

Here I am with my dad in Yellowstone. I'll let you in on some little-know facts about me. Number one: I used to wear my hear in Princess Leia buns on the side of my head and I had these adorably stupid bobby pins with red roses glued to the ends and I would shove them in the buns and I thought I was brilliant and SO, so cute. Number two: That purple sweatshirt definitely has Eeyore on it. Facts not about me: My dad still looks the exact same. Although. I did show this picture to Maddox and he argued with me that that is actually my brother and not my dad.

And finally. My 11th birthday party at a place called "Play Zone," where it was endless tunnels and ball pits full of heroine needles and pee. Just kidding, but probably. I super love my hair, just like I said before: half up in a big-ass scrunchy with 30 or more barretts pinning it back. I mean, you can see two right there, imagine how many are on the other side. I was OBSESSED with barretts and keeping my hair out of my face and showing off my forehead, according to my mom. Wearing another classic Tweety Bird shirt in this picture, HBD to me. I also, ALSO, was madly in love with N SYNC. Like, to the point of probably should have gotten some therapy for the amount that I wanted to marry them. All of them, any of them, just please can I have one. We are all pointing to our favorites in this picture and I am about to throat punch the girl in the headband because she is pointing to my FAVORITE one, Chris Kirkpatric, thank you very much. Don't even test me on my N SYNC knowledge. Evan just last weekend decided my fan girl days have come to an end because he threw out my Disney Channel N SYNC Concert VHS that I recorded from the Disney Channel on the 4th of July that one year they played concerts all day long (best day ever). So. I'm in mourning. Speaking of mourning, check out my brother. Pissed my mom's making him be in the friggin picture, pissed it's only girls, pissed about N SYNC. Hard life, man.

Maddox will never probably have pictures like this. I mean, what could that child possibly do that is awkward? Nothing. I swear. So, we'll just continue to weep at the 90's decisions that my parents made (even though she swears I made them. Lies.) and continue to relive the goodness that was life.

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