24.4

today was a good day. just an all around good day. which has not been the case for most of the days in my last few weeks. having good days is a little difficult when it is a hormone free-for-all inside your body and there is also a little tiny bby in there claiming everything as its own. i just don't feel like me, and although i'm seriously loving being pregnant now that this getting fatter business comes with kicks and punches and dance parties and not just tight jeans and the inability to bend over and a bladder the size of a teaspoon, i'm still adjusting to all these changes and trying to be mature and use my words but sometimes i retreat into my infant stages and cry and cry and cry and for now that's just going to have to be okay.

and i'm currently reading "eat. pray. love." after much refusal because i had only heard about it after the movie and although i've never seen it, i want movies to be popular because of books, not the other way around. but it was recommended to me about 903 times and so here i am, half way through and i.love.it.

but the point is not that.
the point is this quote:

"but i felt a glimpse of happiness, and when you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after such dark times you must grab onto the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt--this is not selfishness, but obligation. you were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight."

like my sweet friend amber who sent me a handmade necklace (she makes the coolest necklaces. i want to squeeze her.) and a sweet card. and my friend danielle who sent evan and i a christmas card. and my friend kristin who sent me sweet emails. and my lovely friend allie who brought me a rocking cradle baby bed [technical term] that i just want to curl up in a take a nice long nap.
these things make me so happy.

sometimes not everything goes wrong. sometimes that law of life is just plain wrong.

and also if there is a place where time goes to die, i'd like to go there for a minute and bring back all of my time and hang out with it for a bit longer. i'm somehow, miraculously at 24 weeks and 4 days which is practically almost 25 weeks.

i'm going to be a little sad when i'm not pregnant anymore and i no longer have this little bump. i LOVE my bump. i'll be sad when i'm not pregnant anymore and it's not just me and this babe and i have to share this babe with evan and our families and everyone else. this closeness that i get to experience is so amazing and so special and i just want a little more time at this stage. because this will be our only first baby and i tend to live life in the fast lane so i'm really trying to slow down and live life and enjoy this even smaller life that is currently residing on top of my bladder yet somehow with a foot in both of my lungs and one wedged between the vertebrae of my spine. ;] such a cute little destructo it is already. i really don't mind the aches and the pains because that means more back massages for me and no dirty looks when all i want to do is take 5 naps in one day and STILL go to bed at 9:00. i'm not quite sure how you can love someone so much, and i haven't even met this little babe yet. i'm sure it helps that i love my baby daddy [except he does not like when i call him that so that's basically his new name because don't ever tell me NOT to do something, c'mon.] with my whole heart and soul. but seriously, this kid is loved and it's still growing taste buds over here. grow, baby, grow!