realizations

have you noticed how people hold grudges for the dumbest things? i am a master grudge holder and i just want to slap some of these amateurs. if i run you over with my car or steal your boyfriend or spill grape koolaid on your wedding dress....then okay. grudge away. but if you do something for me and then hang it over my head to dry for years and years and years? let me tell you: it's dry. and that's not a good grudge reason so let me get all school counselor-y on you for a sec and tell you, you have other problems and you're hiding behind that one, so knock. it. off.


have you noticed how many children are on instagram these days? i mean. the way it's going i'm going to have to get my newborn an iphone. and i refuse to do that. come on parents! parent your kid! like these people who are all, "the most beautiful pictures on the internet. 14, ireland." heygirlhey, i can google "pretty brazilian waterfall castle unicorn" and find some great pictures, too, THATIDIDN'TTAKE.


have you noticed how annoying bossy people are? and people who don't use their blinkers or drive the speed limit? or people who criticize your every. single. waking. moment? or people who make stupid choices like drinking and driving? like, for reals. let's criticize THAT and worry less about me.

have you noticed how slow the week is? and then, how fast the weekend goes by? it's completely unfair. i don't need 5 days to do my work. i could easily get it done in 3.5. See what i did there? Threw in a half day completely free. Because by time the weekend rolls around, everyone is having their weekend and i can't see any doctors or make any appointments or do really anything because everyone and their dog is doing that, too. i vote 3.5 work weeks. put that on your campaign ballot and you have my vote.


okay. that's all i got. i'm off to have dinner with my brother who is home from spring break and cut his hair into a mullet because he needed a crazy hair style as a good luck chair to go hunting back at school and he leaves in two days and so we're being a family real quick and then i have a surprise birthday party and then the weekend. i'm looking forward to the beer i'm going to down tonight, the relaxation i'm having tomorrow and plenty of husband wife time.

what i'm not looking forward to? having my finger pricked again to check my blood sugar. come onnnn pancreas. do yo job.

greatest start to my weekend: my phone just auto corrected "sec" into "sex." TO MY DAD. most embarrassing moment: achieved.