Friday, February 10, 2012

eleven questions

sweet danielle did this fun fun fun post and i want to play along because if you need to one know thing about it, it's that i love to talk about myself. kidding, but srsly.

rules: first, post 11 things about you. then answer the 11 questions from the previous poster (danielle). then create 11 new questions. then tag people (which, no thanks, tag yourselves).

eleven things about moi:

1. my worst habit: since i have *great* bangs (ha. hahaha.) to get ready i always re-wet them so they'll do what i say. i wet a comb and move my bangs around. but, if i get long hair that isn't bang? i'm too lazy to move it where it's supposed to go. especially when it's like under a layer of bang. YOU TELL ME how the heck a piece of long hair gets underneath all the short ones? my hair has magic. anywaaaay, i am too lazy to make it go where it's supposed to go when clearly it wants to be a bang. so i cut it. pretty soon, the entire middle section of my hair is going to be classified as "bang" and the rest will be long. it's some sort of reverse mullet.

2. i have a problem with noise. if you're making a noise, and i can hear it, that's the problem. any noise at all. coughing, burping (omg, don't even get me started on how gross burping is. ew.), blowing your nose (also disgusting, please go in the bathroom and WASH YOUR HANDS afterwards.), opening and shutting your car doors 500 times, honking your car horn, revving your engine, your music, etc. i need silence. i have a problem, and i realize this.

3. i have a pretend accent that will someday be real because i can't stop.

4. when i was a very small child, i put my hands directly on a burning fireplace. i also walked backwards with my eyes closed all the way around the block with my bff christopher and when i got home, he was no longer with me and my arm had a huge gash in it and was bleeding everywhere. i needed constant, hands-on supervision. (and by needed, i mean need. present tense.)

5. you know who i love? ellen degeneres. when she pretend has a sloth on her show for kristen bell? cried. when she phone called that crazy texas lady? cried. i would probably get cable just for her show.

6. it's really a miracle i have any teeth. i grind my teeth so hard at night. i clench my jaw during the day. when i was a kid i'd eat handfuls of raw pasta. and handfuls of grain. well, i don't really know what it was, but it was hard. like tiny little rocks that my mom would turn into buns at thanksgiving. probably grain. okay. i eat ice like i've never had a drink of water in my whole life. i've only ever chipped a tooth once and it was a tiny little chip the dentist rolled his eyes at me when i asked him to fix it. i have teeth of steel.

7. i hate cinnamon.

8. also as a child i learned to do this thing with my eyeball where i'd squeeze it (lids down, obviously) and it'd make this little popping noise. it doesn't hurt at all, and you can't even feel it, really, but i used to do that ALL THE TIME. then i dated this kid in high school and we'd sit up all night talking to each other on the phone and one time i straight up asked him, "can you pop your eye?" i have issues. he did not break up with me after i asked him that, so maybe he has more issues.

9. whenever someone i know gets engaged, i always have this little pang of jealousy shoot through my stomach. i want to get married again. to evan, obviously.

10. according to project runway, i'm the least fashionable person in the whole world. (did anyone see last night's episode? are YOU KIDDING ME!? they kept the "coming to america" outfit over that hilarious man who did not get his design from a three year old? sick. that "coming to america" outfit was so bad. and that one chick was like "i love the top with the neck thing." [exact quote] i slapped her.)

11. when i was little my favorite favorite favorite show was diagnosis murder. oh my gosh. love. dick van dyke is the best. but mostly, i wanted to be a pathologist. other favorite shows in my life time? bones. csi. etc. bodies, death, blood, mysteries. so interesting. (did you know forensic pathology is a 13-year degree? um...holy hell.)

danielle's questions:

1. what is your biggest fear?
if i were to put all my fears on a scale of 1 to 10 of how much anxiety each of them gives me, oh boy. we're talking like stage 11 here, people.
spiders? do i have to look at it? 8-9. do i have to touch it? 25. is evan home to kill it? (yes) 5; (no) 50. did i just kill it and i can't find it's body? 5147895714852348. is it hairy? 16897427980289574915823275879687201.
flying in a plane? 11. over the ocean? 15. when the plane drops out of the sky in an air pocket? 100.
driving in the snow? 11.
public speaking? 11.
evan being hurt because he doesn't text me back for minutes hours? 50. MILLION.

2. when was the first time you fell in love? puppy love counts.
i have a different view of what love is now that i'm all married and mature and junk. i was one of those girls who really, really, really liked all of her boyfriends. maybe, possibly classify me as like a stage 5 clinger. i hearted this boy so hard when i was in kindergarten i kissed him under the slide. and then again in 1st grade i said, "can i tell you a secret?" and then i kissed him. ON HIS EAR. omg. i am so embarrassed by my former self. that obviously wasn't loveeeee, but it was probably pretty close.

3. if you were turned into an action figure, what two objects would your doll come with?
oh gosh. a tube of hot pink lipstick and an iphone.

4. if you knew today was your last day on earth, what would you do?
i cannot even handle this question. thinking about myself dying stresses me out. (11. haha. not funny.) let's pretend it's my last day because i'm moving to the moon. okay. i'd have my favorite smoothie (raspberries, raspberry sorbet and lemons. ohmygaaa.) i'd have like 40. ok, i cannot answer this question. bahahaha

5. what is your favorite word?
hmmm....i don't like picking favorites and hurting the rest of all the words' feelings.

6. what is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
potty break.

7. what is the craziest thing you've ever done?
hmm...i'm not too crazy. i'd say the stupidest crazy thing i've ever done was, in highschool, one of my best friends had a little 2 door cavalier and she'd drive up and down this street that all the high schoolers think it's cool to "cruise" and we'd hide in the trunk and when she stopped we'd pop out and freak the car behind us the F out. can i tell you how badly i want to go back to that time period and punch myself in the face? i could have died a horrible, crunchy death. oh, we were 150% sober, too. hihello, i used to be an idiot.

8. what movie can you watch over and over again?
honestly, i'm not a big movie fan. i'm almost never, ever in the mood to watch a movie. i do enjoy a little fight club now and then, though. i could probably stare at brad pitt and jared leto  watch that pretty frequently. or anything with steve carrell. he kills me.

9. who was your first concert?
kenny. chesney. hell, yes. have you seen his wrangler butt?

10. what is your idea of a perfect night?
depending on my mood i either like to be home alone, in bed with a hot cup of tea and a good book or hanging out with evan, at home, with tea, and a good show. (i kind of really don't like to leave my house. haha)

11. what weird quirk do you possess? 
ha. i'm the weirdest person ever. i can only use plastic utensils to eat yogurt and mac and cheese. i have to touch my silverware before i can use it. like the part that touches the food. i have to touch it first. before the food. when i buy a new purse, i imagine it in my car and if it'll look cute sitting on my seat while i'm driving. hahahaha i told evan that one the other night and he just shook his head. i'm a little bit of a craycray.

11 questions for you:

1. most embarrassing moment. go.
2. what's your favorite feature or your favorite thing about yourself?
3. if there was one thing you could make all of humanity start or stop doing, what would it be? (like, i'd make people start using their blinkers. don't you even say "love each other" because omg. i hate channing tatum.)
4. what are some of your favorite song lyrics?
5. what is one thing you cannot live without?
6. what's your biggest turn-off?
7. if you could do something crazy, just for a day (like get a tattoo, or dye your hair, or pierce your face), what would you do?
8. what's the weirdest thing on your bucket list?
9. what do you miss from your childhood? (naps. f'reals.)
10. what is your dream job? it doesn't even have to be a real "job." like, what do you wish you could get paid to do? (sleep, eat, throw temper tantrums in public...?)
11. what is something you would never EVER do?


thanks danielle for this funness. ya'll better do this and send me a link!

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