Sunday, June 5, 2011

The Tonsil Diary

 This is all TMI and mostly for Jamie who wants a log so she can relive her tonsil experience through me. I'm having so much funNOT!

Day 1/
My pain level went from a 2 to a 6 in 4 hours. I took my medicine every 5 hours as directed and I feel like I got behind. My throat hurts to talk, to breathe, to swallow. I can't chew. And I taste plastic from that ridiculous tube they intubated in my throat.  (Greys. I'm a doctor, nbd.) Also, Jamie had fried green tomatoes and I'm jealous of her real food. And the fact that her real food is crispy and I can't have anything crispy. Including the edges of french bread, so I dipped them in soup, made them soggy, chewed them 4304343 times and ate it up. Problem solved. I also have a very weird back pain in my left shoulder I'm going to say is not related to my tonsillectomy. The doctors said massages are a must so I'll be the recipient of a neck and random-spot-under-my-shoulder-blade massage later. (Ps. I put children's tylenol in the fridge to make it a nice instant relief treat and it is actually just like chewing on slightly liquefied sugar. So don't ever do that.)

Night 1/
Jamie told me that around day 3 she was so sick she couldn't swallow so she would carry a cup around and just spit into it. That was almost me last night. ON DAY ONE. I think somewhere along the line, ahem someonenamedevan ahem, messed up his timing for my medicine so I waited too long between swigs and got insanely sick. I was at pain level 8 last night and in tears. I thought I was going to puke, I thought I was going to pass out, and I couldn't swallow. I drank three measly sips of water before falling asleep and had to pee like 4 times that night. (No thanks to the nurse who let an entire liter of fluid through my IV.)  

Cravings today: Hamburger. With probably a ton of junk like tomatoes and lettuce and pickles and guacamole and salsa. Yum.

Day 2/
Day two still consisted of lightheadedness when I was walking around or even sitting up but my pain went back to a 5 and then back to a 3. I'm still on a watermelon and mashed potato diet but mostly watermelon because it's cool on my throat. I took a good 3 hour nap and woke up to my entire upper body and face itching like crazy. I think it might be because TMI I failed to shower today and not because I'm having a reaction to the roxicet. I will not have a reaction to it, I will not. So, I'm going to shower and fix that problem and then lay out in my new hammock my father is installing for me!

Night 2/
Roxicet hates me and my tumtum. It doesn't help that I can't eat anything substantial. So I took the nausea medicine and it knocked me out in 2 seconds flat. I was trying to read blogs and I literally had to hold my eyeballs open. I only fell asleep for one measly hour because the not-so-lovely children next door like to scream at the top of their lungs constantly. Their parents either don't care that it sounds like their children are being abducted or they're deaf. I can't tell yet but I want to leave them a note because it's how I conduct my business. 

Cravings today: Hotdog. I saw a picture on a blog and immediately wanted to drive to Sonic. Then I thought about it and almost puked at how gross it actually sounded.
Ranch dressing. I don't care what it's on, get me some ranch.

Day 3/
Woke up at 5 and my alarm had already gone off to retake my medicine. So who knows how long it had been since my previous dose. IE: I'm too lazy to do the clock math. So needless to say, my throat isn't very happy at all. Water burns, watermelon burns, iced tea burns. I'm already obsessed with looking in the back of my throat to see those nasty nast scabs and Evan hates it. He might also hate it because I always force him to look because things like that don't disgust me. Also, I brushed my teeth yesterday but I don't feel like I've reached the point of rotting breath yet. But I haven't breathed on Evan yet to find out. Isn't he the best? He really is. Anyway, I slept all day besides like 45 minutes. I made Evan feed me because I was too weak to hold the spoon in a civilized manner. I leak buckets of drool every sleep time because my asleep self will not let me swallow.

Night 3/
My medicine makes me sicky sick without food but I cannot eat anything SO I made Evan go scrounge up some chicken nuggets. I ate 2. Food tastes disgusting. Plus I have to chew everything 900 times so that's not any fun. I had a giant taco at the wedding (yes, I felt good enough to go to the wedding!) and it only took me two hours to eat it. Literally, two hours. I felt so good at the wedding, I think getting up and hanging out with my friends really made me forget about this wretched pain going on in the back of my throat. Afterward, Evan convinced me to go to a friend's house to play games and I did. Which was dumb because I fell asleep and slept all awkward and my throat got really sore. So, now I'm back to step one. Step one of sucksville. I also think I ate a bug and/or my throat scabs are peeling because something does not feel right back there. 

2 loves:

  1. Haha...this is awsome. And sad. But awesome. And I always felt like I had junk stuck in the back of my throat. It's just the scabs forming. Don't mess with them!

  2. Oh love, this sounds dreadful.
    I'm so so so sorry. :[ Feel better soon!
    And that bug/scab thing at the end? heebie jeebies.
    It doesn't help that I was researching natural flea treatments this morning--parasites and throat scabs/possible bug inhalation . . . oooooh heebie jeebies.