lalala

This has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. And I can definitely count those on my hands because I try to not have bad weeks, just days.


I don't expect a pass because it was my birthday, and I don't think that Evan expects a pass because his Grandfather passed away; yet it seems like the entire world was against us. We went through a week of hurt directed not only to us as a couple, but we were singled out as well. We each were tested in a personal way that not only upset, angered, hurt each of us individually, but that translated over into our relationship as well. Things like painful memories from highschool that I had completely forgotten about. Things like trust being broken. Things like hateful comments. Things like friendships being tested. Things like realizations that are unwanted. Just things.

My faith, my marriage, my patience. All tested. 

This weekends sermon was about how something must end before a new thing can begin. We just sort of sat there in awe listening to how God was basically speaking directly towards us. It was a good message. A good way to end this week and start next week. (Which will be a good week, minus the fact that my tonsils will be removed, but I'm looking past that.)

So here I am, letting myself feel these emotions because I need to heal. I need to move on. I need to be back to a place where the main things in my life aren't broken. Aren't crashing down around me. Where everything is better.

I also think I need a night away from all of this. Maybe I can convince Evan to take me to Red Lodge for a little over night adventure this week. That would be much needed. So needed.