tonight, tonight was a good one. i needed tonight. it hasn't been easy lately. i've just been overcome. maybe that's the best way to describe it. overcome and worn out. and these feelings of inadequacy that just won't quit. everybody has that now and again, i think. this was just my time. it has a lot to do with learning (still. i'm aware. i know how pathetic it is that i have continuous struggles with this subject.) how to share evan. i don't like to share and my husband most definitely falls into the category of "things i don't share well with others." sorry homies. i'm learning to be gracious and not greedy and how to not get jealous when he's with his friends and not me and when he wants to be in a group of people and not with just me. i'm learning and it's a battle and for a while there i was just losing. and i'm not very good at losing. i think i need a few days in a place where there is no phone service and no internet and maybe just a cabin in the woods with a fireplace where it actually gets below 80 degrees at night and we can fry some fish and hot dogs and marshmallows and sing around the campfire and smell like the great outdoors and smoke and river water for just a few days. i'd like that a lot. where i can regroup without worrying about weddings and money and fantasy football and unreturned e-mails and texts and our overgrown lawn and school and jobs and the future. where it's just us for a few days and i don't have to worry about being a greedy wife because i'll have all the time with my wonderful husband that those few days allow. but until then i'll settle for our favorite musician in concert for the 3rd time. where we worship our jesus and dance around while the old people worry about the noise and we wish it was louder. where our church is bathed in sunlight when we walk outside and the most beautiful sunset is waiting for us across the street. where we take a few extra minutes to get home because we might be extending the concert a little bit longer and that warrants driving slow(ish) and rocking out at the top of our lungs. [it's not settling if you're absolutely content with your life in this exact moment.]
I'm glad you had such a good time at the concert.
ReplyDeleteGood concerts are a beautiful experience that is so helpful with putting every thing else in perspective.
I understand the being greedy with your husband part. I can be the same way sometimes. It's hard. But you'll make it through.
It's not pathetic... it's human.
Yes! Agreed! Such a relaxing place where you can just lose your self and live in that moment. I love live music, more than a lot of things. And yes to greedy wives! Seriously. Back off, time theives!
DeleteI am so glad that you could have break from all the overwhelming stuff in your life. you should make it priority to have more nights like this :]
ReplyDeleteTruth. It should be an every day occurrence.
DeletePlease don't ever stop writing! ok? I just love it!
ReplyDeleteYou know about my sharing problem and that I have so many of the same worries! So glad you and Evan got to have this night to worship and sing your heart out together! So amazing!
And I hope you get one of those cabin weekends too because it sounds perfect!
Truth. You get me. <3
DeleteBeautiful post. Just love it.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone needs a cabin in the woods where they can just escape. There are so many precious things we miss getting caught up in the day-to-day.
And selfish time with the hubs is totally justified. Totally.
1. It shows how much you adore him
2. Shows how much fun you two have
3. That you're willing to fight for it.
Plus, as people continue to remind me, there may be days when alone time is hard to come by. Be "selfish" while you can, because, really, you're growing the relationship that you treasure :]
And Whoo-hoo!! for worship concerts! How awesome!
I love your list, girl. =] it rocks. Also your reason as to why we need to spend time together now! Gosh, you're a smart one!
DeleteLarisaa, love! I've nominated you for a Liebster Award, if you'd like it :] Drop by my page for the rules and award button. I hope you're doing splendidly! XD
ReplyDelete