Wednesday, June 22, 2011

of course this would happen to me.

Exhibit A:

Please note the wild bird nesting itself on my computer plug in. IN MY LIVINGROOM.

Oh my gosh. Really? Of course.

Of course I would have my doors open to enjoy the beautiful summer day.
Of course I would be minding my own business when a flipping bird flew in and almost took off my head.
Of course I would own three stupid animals who wouldn't even notice a flying creature in their home.

It's going to poop it's gross slimey bird poop in my house. (Most likely on my head, because it's fond of flying directly at me at like 30 miles per hour.)
It's going to lay it's eggs and they'll hatch immediately and I'll have an entire bird family living in my house.


 Oh, here is the stupid bird sitting on my computer as I'm writing a blog about it. (It must have seen itself on the computer screen.) Don't worry, I made a bunch of noise: nothing. Shooed it with a piece of paper: nothing. Shooed it harder: got it off.

So he did. Kinda. He brought his net, because all humans should own a net I'm now realizing (mine would be bigger with a lid and a ten foot pole), caught it, realized it was a pet because it was "friendly" (relative. it flew. at my head. fast. in my world, that's not friendly.) and he's taking it to Pet's Mart or the Animal Shelter. And it is gone gone gone out of my house and I don't have to worry about that terrifying creature pooping on my precious life.

I need a margarita after that.

8 loves:

  1. This is ridiculous. And, hysterical.

    I secretly hate birds, your encounter would have totally put me over the edge. Ha.

  2. Apparently I secretly hate birds now, too. Who knew? I'm not a big fan of them outside my window chirping at 3 am but I'm an even bigger fan of them not coming in my house uninvited and flying at my face.

  3. Hahah I would hate this to happen to me. At least it was just a pet bird! And it's pretty

  4. haha, this is soooo ridiculous! I wonder how far it flew before it chose your home. And YOUR home of all things. Why not a random tree or on a roof or something? You'd think the thing would want to fly away...not land in another house. I'm glad your dad is always there to save the day. =]

  5. So my dad took it to Exotic Pets and apparently it's owners had been running all over town trying to find it, hoping someone took it to a pet store. So yes, it is a pet and they're so happy to have it home. And I'm so happy to have it out of my freaking house. It came from about a half mile away. It was one persistent bird.

    And Katie, you're right. At least it wasn't wild and crazy and angry that it was trapped in my house. Then some real damage might have been done.

  6. Wow.
    How funny.
    I'll admit . . . I'm a little jealous . . . does that make me strange? I just love birds--as a teenager, Chris hatched and raised a quail named Mo, so he's convinced birds are the best pets ever . . . but they're so expensive. So to have one fly in our window for FREE would be awesome, haha. ;]
    Glad your daddy came to your rescue, though. Aren't dad's fantastic?

  7. Sarah, next time a bird flies in my window, I'll be sure to ship it to you! Would you also like the deer that camped out in my front yard last night? haha