Tuesday, November 9, 2010

You know what I hate?

Answer: Grocery shopping.

I about had thirty different anxiety attacks in that stupid store.

First of all, people really need to learn how to park their cart. Like don't leave it in the middle of the aisle and go wander around. I don't care if you suddenly remembered you needed something from aisle 3 and you're now in aisle 10. Take your cart and go back. It is completely unnecessary that you take up as much space as three people would.

Second, if you're going down an aisle, stick to one side. That way, when you stop and get something you won't be in my way. There is nothing more annoying than waiting for you to decide which pickles you want while I stand and wait for you. At least have the courtesy to be aware of your surroundings and move if you're in someone's way. I swear I know what kind of pickles I want and I'll be out of your way in two shakes. Thanks.

Third, control your homies. Don't let your offspring run around knocking things down and running into me. And if you're taking your 300 year old grandmother shopping, good for you, but don't let her and her electric wheel chair take up the entire aisle. And because you're moving at about half the speed of a snail, get out of my wayyyy. I walk at a slow run and you are seriously crimping my style.

Fourth, if we get in each others way, say excuse me and get on with it. Don't be rude and glare or make some noise under your breath. I can hear you. And I can see your evil, ugly eyes.

Fifth, if I'm a pedestrian, I have the right away. If you reaaallllyyyy wanted that parking spot then you should have gotten here earlier. You do not need to run me down just because that spot is the closest one available to the door. You probably need the exercise anyway. But mostly you need to let me get out of your way before you gun it.

Sixth, put your damn cart away. My gosh. You just walked around the store for an hour, do you really think that walking that extra ten feet is going to kill you? No. It's not. But I am, if you don't put it away and the wind blows it into my car.

Ug. But I think I got enough goodies to make dinner for the rest of the week.

AND my mother's famous, amazing dumpling soup. Hallelujah! I'm so, so excited! Plus it's cold out which is def soup weather.

Now I just need Evan to get off work because I'm staaaarrrvvingggg! And I'm making garlic chicken stir fry and it smells amazeballs.

Picture to *maybe* come later if I don't inhale it first. =]


6 loves:


  2. I know, right!? It is thee worst.

  3. Kels and I were literally just talking about grocery store etiquette the other day. It's eerie how many topics you hit that we were talking about.

  4. Well you would thiiiink it would be common knowledge. But clearly only the coolest people know how to behave in grocery stores =]

    Miss you two!!

  5. YOU JUST SAID EVERYTHING THAT I SAY EVERYTIME I GO TO A GROCERY STORE. Especially freaking Walmart because that place is redneck white trash central.
    People usually have NO AWARENESS of their surroundings (awareness? is that right?) & it drives me nuts. It's inconsiderate. Seriously.
    Grocery shopping makes me want to murder....things.
    Too harsh? Eh.

  6. I only go to Walmart between 12 and 3 am. Never any other time. The amount of white trash ness really slims out between those times. I mean, they're still there, and I still want to take a week long shower, but it's not as bad. And no. Not too harsh.